Some Wandering Thoughts....

Who am I to Myself ?

2010-02-12T12:48:00.005+04:00

What do you think I am going to write here...looking at the title?

I bet you guessed that I am going to discuss something philosophic.

Maybe I AM at that age when one starts introspecting. Considering the current average life expectancy of man, I am really almost exactly at the mid point. From here I can look back and look forward. I can analyse my actions in the past and plan my actions for the future. I can look at how I have changed, grown...what I have experienced, learnt....I can decide what I should be....

Well...I can do all that but I am not going to... not right now anyway.. :D

This is different...

Have you used Geni?

Geni is this site that allows you to create your family tree...and allows you to stay in touch with the others in your family. For the last few months, many of my relatives have been creating family trees and including me in it.

First a cousin of my mother's created our family tree. Now my mother's side family tree is almost complete. Last week, my husband's uncle created a family tree for my husband's family. Now what happened is, these two uncles have given two different email ids of mine in the respective trees.

I had this bright idea on a weak, jobless moment last week of trying to link the two trees up and making a HUGE tree. (As Vaikom Mohd Basheer said 'Onnum onnum koodiya..immini balya oru onnu'*)

I spent some time trying to do this. One of the things I tried was to give my other email id as an alternate id for myself in one of the trees.

I don't know what got into Geni, but it seemed to think that I had invited myself to my tree... and it asked me... "Do you want to know how you are related to Wannabe?"

Now how can one resist such a question!!!! I surely did want to know what I was to myself... how I am related to myself!!!!

I was also impressed! Being from the software background myself and having learnt data structures and hence trees and tree traversal software in the process, I wanted to know how Geni would relate me to myself!!! I wanted to know if Geni would know the simple, basic answer that I am Me!!!

So I did it...I clicked the link.... And what do you think Geni said????

Any guesses?

*********Edited to add *******
You guys are not going to believe this! Geni said

"Wannabe is your husband's first cousin once removed's husband's nephew's wife's first cousin once removed's husband's aunt's husband's sister's husband's niece's husband's first cousin once removed. "

:-O

*Vaikom Muhammed Basheer - in his novel Baalyakaalasakhi

* Translation - 1 plus 1 = quite a big 1!

True Lies...

2010-01-25T07:48:00.004+04:00

My eight year old is learning to tell lies and thankfully she is not getting it right... yet!

The unwritten rule is that she must finish the water in her waterbottle and that there should be no water left in the evening. A few weeks back, everyday she was bringing back the bottle just the way she took it in the morning - with all the water intact. I was scolding her about that and she says 'I am finishing all the water and filling it up again at school'! She is at school from 8 to 2:30 and then she is at the day care till I pick her up at around 6:30 or 7. She knows that I can verify with the babysitter so she does not say she fills it up there. So she says she finishes all the water in school and fills it up in school. Without any doubt, I know that this is a lie because there is no way she can finish all that water in school that she needs to fill it up. So I confront her and totally refuse to believe her until she breaks down and confesses.

She is yet to figure out that she can just throw the water out and bring the bottle back empty and I wouldn't know!

The other day she had a math test. We did major preparation and she solved lot of problems to learn division of 3 digit numbers. We tried all combinations - where 0 comes in the beginning of the quotient, where 0 comes in the middle of the quotient etc.

So after the test, in the evening, I ask her how it went. She says it was easy. And then she slowly starts explaining. 'Amma, there was this problem that we had to solve. It was like how you taught me where you cannot divide the first digit with the divisor'. She then gives me an example and solves it perfectly. I am proud. Then she says 'But during the test, I was confused. I was not sure how to do it'. So I ask,'Oh..then what did you do?'. She says 'Ma'am helped us.' I was surprised that Ma'am will help during a test and was quite impressed too. Test is not as important as ensuring that the children understand what they are doing. So she says, 'Not the same problem. But Ma'am solves a similar problem on the board and we have to do this one in the same way'. I am even more impressed.

And then she does it.

She says, 'But you know what I did? When I did the problem after Ma'am showed us how to do, I also wrote it down in my paper in Ma'am's handwriting. I copied the handwriting also. So you might think Ma'am wrote it but actually it was me!'

I literally burst into laughter at that. I still haven't fully figured out the reason for that lie. I'll probably know when I get the worksheet. But I promptly let her know that I know that it is a lie. I told her that it is okay if she made a mistake in her worksheet and that I will not scold her for that. She can tell me the truth. Then with an embarassed grin, she admitted that what she said was not true. I did not pursue the topic and decided to wait till I get the worksheet to figure it out!

I am enjoying the whole phase... I hope the innocence is never lost completely!

My 'Colour'ful Weekend!!!!!!

2010-01-21T16:40:00.007+04:00

I knew it!

I knew that a visit from her could never be uneventful! Not possible!

Colours and Patterns (let us just call her hubby Patterns for this post as I don't know if I am allowed to use his blog identity!!! hee hee!!!) landed in Dubai last Thursday afternoon. They had left their marriage certificate in Germany and Emirates refused to give them a transit visa without that. (Why is nobody surprised any more at UAE's strange ways!). So we took a visa for them separately through a travel agent.

They were quite thrilled to be able to call themselves 'single' after 10 years of marriage and a few years of 'going steady' before that! :D So they kept repeating every two hours that they are not related! I was scared to put them in the same room knowing UAE's morality code! ;)

Well...the story I wanted to narrate was a different one.

I am not sure if you all know...but as an Indian in Dubai you can live many different kind of lives. You can live the 'labour camp' way, the 'bachelor' way, the 'Indian' way, the 'multicultural' way and also the 'European' way! Not sure if there are more ways....maybe some of you can tell me...

I am sure you all have read the several degrading articles and hence do not need me to explain the labour camp life.

The bachelor life means paying a rent of 1000 dhs or less and spending another 750 or 1000 on food and living in a shared apartment - sometimes with bunk beds and 6 people in a room...sometimes with only 2-3 in a room.

The highest population of Indian families live the 'Indian' way - which translates roughly to 'when in the UAE live like the Indians'. This means that you speak your native language, celebrate all your festivals, cook your type of food, have only
Indian friends, wear Indian clothes or western clothes with Indian jewellery (!!!!), watch Indian channels, read Indian magazines, teach your children in Indian schools, hang your clothes in your balcony to dry, decorate your door with stuff,draw kolams or rangolis, teach kids Indian dance and music, go for satsang,bhajans and yoga classes etc....

The 'multi cultural' or 'European' way is when you live in areas/buildings with mostly Europeans or other nationalities around. You have a mixed lifestyle and are a little confused. You are scared to wear Salwar Kameez. Teach your children in British schools and send them for ballet classes. Parents and children speak English with different accents at home.

Well...since we arrived in Dubai, we have lived the 'Indian' way. It was not a conscious decision...because we are quite open and adaptable. It was just that our job and the area we live in did not force us to make any changes. While I do meet people of all nationalities on my official demos and meetings, the company is Indian and hence the culture is Indian as well. Our social life (what there is of it) is totally Indian. It was only last month that we moved into a nice, expensive two bedroom apartment from a much smaller single bedroom apartment....the blessing of the recession!

So this weekend we had a full house - a cousin and wife from India on visit, Colours and Patterns, three of us, the BIL and another cousin brother.

On Saturday morning, colours had fixed up an appointment with her MBA classmate at Starbucks. She left to meet him.

The rest of us were home. I, like a good hostess, made a nice (I hope!) breakfast of Poori and Potato curry. So we had a late and relaxed breakfast. And all of us were in pyjamas and nighties, sitting at the dining table. We had finished breakfast and
were having some discussion with our plates in front of us, occassionally licking our fingers when the doorbell rang.

We open the door and we find Colours there with...................this French guy!!!!!!!

All of us almost collapsed in shock and shame. My first impulse was to run and get an Aarti platter and do an Aarti for him with tears in my eyes...(first time a saayip* is coming home!!!)

Our lady had brought her friend to meet us with absolutely NO WARNING and here we were all dressed like beggars and with dirty hands and plates. None of us could even shake hands with him!

We somehow manage our hellos and how are yous, hoping that our brilliant and charming smile will somehow make him forget the rest of our appearance!

Then we huddle in the kitchen discussing what we should do next. With my experience with books and movies, I say...'we should offer him something to drink! I will go and ask him, "would you like a drink?" ' This was vetoed down because if he asks for Whisky and soda, a Martini or a Vodka as they do in movies, we wouldn't have any!!! So I go and ask him 'Can I offer you some fruit juice?' Poor guy takes pity on me and accepts.

We then left Colours and Patterns to take care of their guest and stayed away.

I still shudder when I imagine what he would have thought when the door opened and he saw a whole lot of people in a 2 bedroom apartment, all in rags, licking their plates and fingers!!!!

*Mallu version of 'sahib'..legacy of the British colonial rule

Can't think of a title for this one!!!

2010-01-04T10:55:00.008+04:00

'Hi Darling'....
'How are you, sweetheart?'

This is how Colours and I start our conversation on Google Talk every day!

We belong to another era... where it was quite alright for girls to call other girls 'darling', hold hands with them, greet each other with a hug and a kiss, even sleep together.

When we started hostel, we stayed for a few months in a 'common room'...which was a kind of dormitory and we were ten of us there. We were living out of our suitcases as there were no wardrobes or shelves.

Well, colours and I, would always have all our clothes on our cots as we were lazy to fold the clothes we washed. So we found a solution, we used one cot for dumping both our clothes on and slept together on the other! It was not considered scandalous! And anyway, all of us were too much interested in the boys that we did not have time to bother with girls!

Everything is so different today. When we talk about our hostel days or generally talk the way we have always talked for the last 14+ years, we get a naughty grin or a snigger from people.

So is the modern society getting to be more broad minded or quite the reverse...you tell me!

Well..all that reminiscence was because she is visiting me in Dubai in another 10 days! Yahooooooo!!!

I hope you all had a great New Year's Day! Wish you all a great year ahead!

Thanks Nance and Agnes for checking up on me... I do hope to be more regular this year!

I have been literally on my toes the last month with the rehearsals, the dance program, shifting to a new apartment, going to India for a 5 day trip to attend a cousin's wedding, coming back and still trying to get the new house into some shape!

The dance program went off very well..even the severest critics (read my family) had only lot of good things to say. The dance drama itself had great composition, lovely music, wonderful choreography and beautiful stage settings, props and costumes. The audience gave great support. For the final Pattabhishekam (Coronation) scene, when they return from the forest to Ayodhya, Rama, Lakshmana and Sita make their entry from behind the audience and walk through the audience onto the stage. The crowd got rather excited then! It was fun!

And it was great to be back into all that backstage excitement - make up, between scenes dress changes, running around to make sure you are ready in time for the next scene...

I did manage to bring out the man in me I guess...but I do need to see the video to really make sure.I got a lot of positive feedback from people who watched the show. Well...the costume also helped to be more free and aggressive on stage!

If you promise, not to laugh, I'll show you a picture!

Dance Like a Man

2009-11-30T16:20:00.003+04:00

Accoding to Linda Goodman, every Libran woman has a man in her and every Libran man has a woman in him. Normally I prefer not to take her too seriously because she makes some unflattering remarks about us. I have always had this theory that a Libran probably stole some boyfriend of hers! I also have a theory that the boyfriend was probably Aquarian! Well...in any case...I hope she is right in this case. I am currently in the process of bringing out the male side of me.

No... it is NOT what you think (I have no idea what you are thinking....but considering the current times, it is definitely something scandalous!)

I have a dance performance on December 19th wherein I am performing in a dance drama as a male character.

Even though I have perfomed several historical and mytholoical parts in my life, I have not had a chance to play a male character before this. Considering the fact that I need shoes with at least half inch heels to call myself a five footer, you cannot blame anyone for not giving me such roles. Unless you are playing 'Snow White and Seven Dwarfs', that is!

So now I am getting a chance and I am playing a king - the father of Kaikeyi. The dance drama we are doing tries to portray Kaikayi of Ramayana in a different light. It tries to bring out the reasons behind Kaikeyi's actions and portrays her as a good person in spite of her actions. So I play the part of her father who is quite unique considering the fact that during the times when girls were brought up with the sole intention of catching a good husband, he brought up his daughter in such a way that she does not need a man in her life and can take care of herself. He had incurred a curse that his daughter will lose her husband and that too due to her own actions. Fearful of her future, he teaches her weaponry and charioteering instead of music and dance to make her a bold woman.

It is interesting and challenging to do the role as there is a chance to portray different feelings - affection for the daughter, fear for her future, guilt that his actions will cause pain for his daughter, pride in her achievements, shrewdness to ensure he gets a good deal for his daughter when Dasharatha asks for her hand in marriage etc. The music and choreography is quite lovely too.

But the toughest part is to get the male body language...stop being graceful and become aggressive, proud and majestic. Stop being the mother and start becoming the father.

But I am having fun!

On bells and diyas....

2009-10-26T17:01:00.001+04:00

'Amma...you know... M has a Gujarati family staying next door who are always disturbing everyone' said my daughter one day last week. I settled down to listen to her story. M is her classmate, busmate and close friend. She explained that the smoke from the diya they lit for Diwali caused the fire alarm to ring. I laughed and said such things happen. Then she says that according to M, even during Ramadan, they will do their morning prayers with bells ringing and disturb others.

I stopped laughing. I realised where this was coming from. Some stray comments M's parents have let fall about their neighbours and their religious practices have been picked up by the kid and is being passed around. It upset me.

Now, I am one of those people who lights the lamp in my makeshift puja corner only twice or thrice a year...for onam, vishu and navarathri. And the apple I kept for Puja for Navrathri is still there because I have not gone back there since. But I did not like this! I felt uncomfortable that there is so much intolerance in people and what upset me was that the children are repeating it and discussing it.

So whether it was warranted or not, I gave my daughter a long lecture about freedom of religion, secularism and tolerance. I told her that praying to God is good in whatever way it is done. Each person has a different way of praying to God. Some sing hymns, some do puja ringing bells, some go to temple/mosque/church and pray. I said that no one has the right to stop another person from having their own beliefs and their own way of prayer. I said if the ringing of bell can be called troublesome, so can the church bells and the prayer calls from the mosques. But in actual fact, they are just different ways of praying to the same God. If everyone just lets everyone else be, the world will be a much better place.

I hoped she would go and repeat what I said to her friend.

Probably I overreacted to a small incident but what bugged me was the fact that thoughts like this are being planted in the minds of small children. Parents do not realise that stray comments or opinions they pass can create a lasting impact in the mind of small children.

It just brought back to me all over again the tremendous responsibility of being a parent!

Much ado about nothing!

2009-10-14T13:42:00.001+04:00

This blog entry is being written at gun point. Nancy has
threatened to take me off her blogroll if I do not update.
She seems to have taken unkindly to cobwebs on her blogroll.
Now being terrified of being taken off one of the most popular blogs around,
I am forced to write this entry.

I am not stupid. I don't want to be deprived of a chance
of getting new readers every day without writing
anything!!!

Well...that said, I must really apologise to the
few nice people who read and seem to like what
I write.

I haven't written not because nothing interesting
has happened to me. It has been a combination of
work, travel and most of all lack of topics to
write about.

See...I still haven't got a clue what I want to write
about!

Well, I made a beginning and got out of the inertia. Now will put up
that long pending post along with colours about my visit to her place.
Or maybe I'll write about my new blackberry! :D

Overhauled...at the workshop!

2009-05-17T21:03:00.009+04:00

Usually, I have my laptop connected, switched on and logged in throughout the weekend. There are several reasons for this. For one, my offshore counterparts
in Chennai are working on Fridays and might send me mails or need me for some clarifications over Gtalk. For another, I can chat with friends, read blogs and
I have something to do when the TV is conquered by the hubby watching cricket.

This weekend, I did not even take the laptop out of the bag. I did not have time!

I was attending a dance workshop on Friday and Saturday and I literally feel overhauled! I felt all my spare parts coming off but the whole experience has
left me energized and maybe I have some extra years added to my life.

For the uninitiated, the students of dance often have workshops and lecdems (lecture demonstrations). A lecdem is where a senior artiste (along with his/her students) gives a lecture with demonstrations on some topic related to dance. The participants just listen. A workshop is where each person attending also participates. Usually, a complete new 'item' is taught during the workshop and the Audio CD, Video CD and written material is shared with the participants.

This workshop was conducted by the UAE chapter of ABHAI(Association of Bharatanatyam artists of India). While ABHAI has been active for more than a year now in Dubai, this was their debut workshop. And as a participant, I must say that it was a great success.

It was a small scale one as the organizers did not know how good the response would be. We had 15 participants which they felt was pretty good for a debut workshop. It was a good mix of teachers and senior students. The workshop was from 3 to 5 pm on Friday and Saturday.

The workshop was conducted by Ms. Anjana Ganesh, one of the popular Bharatnatyam teachers in Dubai who is herself the student of Sri. Narasimhachari and Smt.Vasanthalakshmi. She taught us a 'padam' composed by Sri. Madurai R Muralidharan for which she herself had done the choreography.

A padam is a short and lyrical item in bharatnatyam. The essence of a padam is usually sringara (romance) or bhakti (devotion). This one was a devotional peice about Lord Ganesha - Omkara Vadivam. It is a beautiful composition. The choreography was neither too complicated nor too simple. It was easy to learn but really fast with complex rhythm patterns and footwork which meant that you can perfect it only with practice.

It was a complete item starting with a virutham (a slow verse sung in praise of the Lord),followed by pallavi, anupallavi and charanam.Both anupallavi and charanam ended with a swaram. We had to learn the whole thing in the 4 hours.

It was fun to learn in such a group - new people with different backgrounds, styles and teachers.It was challenging to learn quickly. It was enriching to add a new beautiful item to our repository.

At the end of the second day, we were given the audio CD. At the end of the second day, we were given written material and also a certificate of participation.

Regarding the video CD which we were to be given to enable us to refer later, the organizers had this bright idea. They decided that they will make the participants perform and record. So they took the video in 3 parts with 3 sets of people. They will be sending us the video for our future reference.

Performing for the video was the most challenging part. Though none of us had it perfect and all of us made mistakes, we still managed.

It also made me realize that I had lot of parts on my body that I never knew existed before. Thank God for my very own personal masseur at home ;-D

The Making Of......

2009-05-08T23:41:00.007+04:00

It has been some time since I did any proper blogging.

It hasn't been for the lack of interesting things happening with me. Except for a slight lull on the work front as a natural result of the recession, things have been good.

Weekdays are a mix of busy and boring days depending on the work. The financial year that ended in March was good as our team over achieved the target and we received lot of appreciation for the work from the head office. My name has been mentioned in all the right places. So even though I don't expect any personal benefit to happen out of it, it is still good to see results for your work.

Weekends have been full of creative pursuits. Dance classes are on full swing and I can't explain how much I'm enjoying those. Apart from that, I have been lucky to play a part, albeit small, in the creation of something beautiful.

My husband and his brother are talented musicians. Though both of them haven't really had formal training in music, my husband is a good singer and his brother plays the harmonium and the key board. They have lived and breathed bhajans all their life. So recently, my BIL decided to give form to his lifelong dream - of composing his own music and bringing out a CD.

So it all started with him composing a few bhajans of his own.

He has a small recording studio in his house in Abu dhabi and he would compose songs and then call up my husband, play it over the phone and discuss it with him. We were quite impressed by the music he churned out and so we also got quite excited about the CD idea.

Though most of bhajans were composed with lyrics, I did get a chance to help out in a few of them with the lyrics. It was really interesting, to say the least.

Soon, he had a set of nice new bhajans to which he added a few rare, traditional ones and made up a list for the CD. The plan was for my husband and some of their friends in the bhajan group here in Dubai to lend their voices.

The B was of the opinion that if it is done, it has to be done the right way. So the next step was to get someone to do the orchestration, sound programming and recording. He thought of a cousin back home in India who is a professional in the field. Soon we were recording tracks of all the songs and sending it to him to work on. There is no way I can explain the amount of communication that used to happen every day. I'll just say that Du got a lot of good business.

So the cousin would do the orchestration (using the keyboard) and send us songs which would go back and forth till the B was completely satisfied. He knew exactly what he wanted in each song of his and there was so much creativity around that I was just watching in amazement. I had never imagined the amount of work that goes into the making of one single song...

Once the music was finalized, the cousin was getting the original instrumental music tracks recorded in India for all the songs.Tabla, Violin, Guitar, Sitar, Keyboard, flute, Veena, Saxophone...

We had one problem that we did not have any good female voices in the group here. So we decided to get those done from India. By this time, the B had decided to go all out and do it perfectly since we were anyway spending lot of time, effort and money on it. So the result was that along with the H and bhajan group friends, we now had 3professional playback singers of the Malayalam music industry to sing in the CD.

We were lucky to get an excellent studio to do the recording here through some well wishers. So one weekend, the cousin came down with the entire instruments track ready. We spent a whole weekend in the studio recording the voices for all the songs. I was right there doing the job of providing hot water to the singers. :-) The cousin then went back and got the voice recording done from the singers in India.

Meanwhile, we broke our heads to come up with the right name for the CD. After lot of searching and discussions, we arrived at a name that we all agreed on.

The incessant communication between India and UAE continued - for doing the final corrections, adding the effects and a whole lot of things that they do after the entire recording is over.

Today, we are at the final stages of completion. The plan is to first bring out a set of 100 CDs and introduce it. Later, further marketing and distribution is planned. So yesterday, we were selecting designs for the cover and finalizing the caption to be displayed on the cover.So hopefully in another week's time we should have the first set of CDs out!

It has been a great journey so far and now we are eagerly waiting to see the response of the listeners.

Musically Tagged!

2009-04-02T16:54:00.027+04:00

Thank you Nancy..Love you for this tag!

Since you wanted me to post something to make you feel less terrible...this is the one! I dedicate each song in this list to you...Nancy!!!

I am an old hindi songs freak! I literally grew up on them. My father had a huge collection of lovely rare songs. On his frequent trips to Delhi and Bombay, he used to bring back such gems! So there is absolutely no way I can restrict myself to just 10 favourite songs. But I will try. But only after officially placing on record that I love all the masterpieces by Roshan, Naushad, S D Burman, Madan Mohan... and any song that Mukesh has lent his soulful voice to..

To reduce the number I shall not list the ones that are global favourites..that are definitely acknowledged masterpieces..like Duniya ke rakhwale...mere mahboob... etc. I shall list the one that affect me personally....

So here goes.. in no particular order...and with aplogies to the ones I have failed to list here.....

Old Hindi songs
---------------

1. Lag ja Gale: I just love this song and can hear it any number of times...Could be the despair and the 'no tomorrow' feel in it....

2. Baharon ne mera chaman lootkar: I don't know why I love this song..but I do... It is saaaad and Mukesh is great...

3. Abhi na jao chodkar: Just lovely...It was kind of our hostel anthem!

4. sawan aaye ya na aaye: This is a lovely duet...from dil diya dard liya

5. Yeh shaam ki tanhaiyan: Pathetic...beautiful...I heard the song long before I got to watch the movie..and I must say the picturisation in my imagination was better...

6. Unko yeh shikayat hai... I love the ghazals in movies..and this one is a classic..(I have to mention two more here...I really do!!! ...yun hasraton ki daagh...and hai isi mein pyar ki aabroo from anpadh though a friend says the latter one is too 'doormat'ish for the girl to sing!

7. beeti na bitayi raina... I cannot resist anything semi classical...Hindustani classical music is so lovely...(and also raina beeti jaye)

8. Then the soft melodious ones by Talat Mahmood...Jalte hain jiske liye... and also humse aaya na gaya... How romantic can one get!!!!

9. Then the dancer in me...and the songs that make my heart and feet dance....Madhuban mein Radhika... Also the lovely Garjat Barsat saawan...And Manna Dey's 'hato..kahe ko jhooti..banao batiyaan'

10. Ankhiyon ke jharokon se.. Though I had heard it before, it became a favourite only recently....

I must also just mention my husband's masterpieces 'Jab deep jale aana'..'jeevan se bhari teri aankhen'...

And there is this song which I heard my husband sing first before listening to the original...and just loved it...'chehre se apni'...from the movie Palki...

Other languages, namely Tamil and malayalam. I again have several favourites... just listing a few...very very few....

Tamil
1. Kalyana Then nilaaa - I can listen just any number of times to this one...
2. Nee Katru Naan maram - Amazing lyrics and the inimitable Hariharan!
3. Malare mounamaa... needs no explanation
4. Konjam neram Konjam neram
5. Raa .. Raa
The last two might be better heard than watched!

Malayalam

1. pinneyum pinneyum aaro kinavinte music, lyrics, picturization...just lovely
2. aaro viralmeetti manassil
3. varamanjalaadiya...
4. Chentharmizhi...Poonthenmozhi - It could be the fact that Vineeth acts in it that makes this my favourite! ;)
5. arikil nee undaayirunnengil - Oh! What a song!!!

All these songs are available on Music India Online as well.. I put you tube links just because it is easier... My advice is not to let the visuals distract you and listen to JUST the music!!! What bliss!!!

oops! Forgot that I need to tag people....

I tag

Colours... I know you are busy..still you'll love doing it..come on!
Tys? .. You said something about downloading and listening to songs...didn't you? Wanna try?
Bins.... Interested?
RustyNeurons... How about you?
Onlooker... Come on.. people from Trichy have to be music lovers!!!

A follow up post.....

2009-03-25T11:15:00.002+04:00

Couple of comments to my previous post make me feel that I should probably put up a follow up post for it.

I probably did not come across very well in the last post. I did not mean in anyway to glorify working mothers by writing that. I did not even mean to discuss working mothers vs non-working mothers. As Agnes and Bins rightly said, it is just the circumstances. If one has the support systems required to manage both easily, one is lucky. If not, no mother will think twice about putting her children before her career..I am sure. No one admires women who give up a great career to take care of the family more than I do. More so, because it is a very difficult choice to make...but I am sure I would not find it impossible to do should the circumstances arrise. I did do it also to some extent...but talking of that would be digressing.

I meant the post only to convey what I admire in my mother as a woman irrespective of the fact that she is my mother. Because there is no way you can compare two mothers! For every one of us, our own mother is the best!

I admire my mother not just for being a career woman but for being so good at what she does.

My mother was brought up in a small village in kerala. She was married at 20 before her degree results were out. She was married to an extremely bright engineer with a great future. She had her baby at 21. No one expected her to work,least of all my father. She herself I'm sure did not plan on being a career woman. The reasons that pushed her into going to work are different and not in the least because she had great career aspirations. I shall not go into those reasons here.

When she started working, I think my father was just an amused onlooker. He did not expect her to continue for long and expected she will tire of it soon and come back home.

But within 5 years of her starting to work, she was given the responsibility of the entire KG Section of the school which was run separate from the rest of the school. Soon she was heading the section which had two branches, 25 teachers and more than 600 students. This continued to grow and she also started a teacher's training course in the same institution and headed that as well. After this, she has helped start and set up 2-3 other schools which have all grown to be some of the most popular ones in the city.

I used to experience pride every year on the annual day when she used to read out the annual report on stage. Within a couple of years of her starting her job, my father became a staunch supporter of her continuing to work and he stood behind her whenever any of our relatives spoke against it. I have seen pride in his eyes too.

Even today, at 55, after more than 3 decades of working, she still does research on the internet and reads up about modern methods of teaching and tries to put them into practice at her school. I doubt if I have that kind of energy and motivation even now!

So you see, when I said 'I used to be proud of the fact that my mother had a successful career', the emphasis was more on the 'successful' than on the 'career'!

And probably it is this feeling that helped me overlook things like having to eat idlis every day because they were easy to cook, not having my mother at home with hot snacks when I got back from school, having her come running, late to dress me up for my dance programmes after all the other mothers arrived.

The Women In My Life...

2009-03-18T12:07:00.001+04:00

This is what my daughter wrote about her most favourite person in the world for her last exam.

'My most favourite person in the world is my mother. She is the best mother I have ever had. I love her because she is intelligent.'

Yeah...I also wondered how many mothers she has ever had to compare and award me the first place! But considering that not too long ago, she told my mother, 'I wish you were my mother and Amma was my grandmother..then I could always stay with you', I guess I am just gratified she wrote about me at all!

Well..anyway...what struck me was not that. What struck me was the reason she has given for loving me. Don't kids normally say they love their mother for taking care of them and giving them the most delicious things to eat? I kind of understand why my daughter doesn't say those things...if she writes about food, she'd probably have to write about the chef in the restaurant next door or the guy who makes the home delivery....but I also wondered if the kids these days are different.

I have found that the most amount of bonding happens between the two of us during the time we spend studying together. Evenings spent with me helping her with her lessons. Also, our dance classes together. Even though we have our disagreements, we end each of these sessions with a feeling of utmost camaraderie. Maybe that is why she thinks the best thing I do for her is teaching her stuff and she loves me because I am intelligent enough to teach her.

Come to think of it, I was not too different either. I used to be proud of the fact that my mother had a successful career.

She still is the most favourite teacher for so many of her students. She is a born leader and diplomat. I have heard her own colleagues grudgingly admire how as a principal, she used to make them do so much hard work without any of them realising they were doing it for her. People felt thrilled and gratified to do work for my mother because of the way she asked them to do it.

So even now, more than the for the food she cooks, I love her for being the unique person that she is. Soft but smart, selfless but efficient, tender but strong, always giving and undemanding but absolutely courageous.

Can one ask for a better role model?

A rose by any other name...... ;)

2009-03-04T13:33:00.001+04:00

I am worried about my blog identity.

It is almost exactly a year back that I started blogging. I had not even read many blogs till then. One of the first blogs I read was that of PS and I was amazed at the popularity of the blog. Also, I had been thinking of trying my hand at writing stuff...because I had seen so many people posting their writing on the literary public folder in my company in India. There seemed to be people ready to read and share their thoughts on all that.

Even though I have been an avid reader of all kinds of books all my life, I kind of instinctively knew that I would not be good at writing stories and other things that require a lot of imagination and making up stuff. Aren't artists and writers supposed to have a temperament? I had none of that...I think I am too real,practical and not so emotional.

But the concept of blogging was okay. I could write about what happens to me and around me and also nobody would know it was me writing all that.

So I decided to start blogging.

Now I had to think up a name for my blog and also a blog identity for myself!

Like I said, I had not done much blog reading and didn't have an idea that you could come up with such exciting and imaginative names for yourself. So I named myself what I felt I was at that time - WannabeWriter. Now don't get me wrong... that does not mean wannabe author or anything. I know quite well I shall never publish anything. But I felt even to be writing on the internet and expecting people who do not know me to read and be interested in what I wrote was expecting too much! Hence the name!

Well..I haven't come too far from there. I don't have many readers but the few regular ones I have are those whose blogs and personalities I like and admire...and they are like any other real friends now. And couple of them are no longer virtual but regular friends to whom I chat on the phone often.

But now,I kick myself for choosing that identity. Why didn't I think of naming myself CreativeGenius or CelestialBeauty!!! Now I shall always be a Wannabe! Well...when you do want to address someone with a name like Wannabe Writer, what else do you call but Wannabe!

I imagine conversations between bloggers. "That wannabe has posted something..did you read?"..."Hey..for that blogger's meet, do we call that wannabe?":-O

Nothing to be done now! Sigh! I shall always remain a wannabe!!!

psst...any idea what the process is to change one's name in the blog world? Advertise in the Gazette?

Random 25!!!

2009-02-23T12:15:00.001+04:00

Colours and Reflections tagged me on this one!

Rules
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

Well..there is an earlier post here on 6 quirks...just in case I cannot find 25 random things..you know!!!

So here goes....

1)I love anything chocolate... dark chocolates, chocolate cakes, chocolate ice cream, chocolate shake...Found a partner in crime in my Project Manager during an onsite visit to the US way back in 2000 and we used to sit and hog Double chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce and chocolate chips...much to the disgust of the others!

2)I was the shortest in class from the 8th standard or so...In the 10th, I used to make a funny sight, walking first in my line, going for the assembly behind the tallest guy in the previous line (class 12) who was some 6'3'' or 6'4''! I became immune to ragging right in school because I was the favourite target for the guys who used to say stuff like 'Yesterday I saw a Kinetic Honda go without a driver' or 'How do you get off your Kinetic Honda? You hold the breaks and jump?'. I used to bring out the creative genius in them and they used to come out with IIT questions which invariably started out like 'A ladder x m high was kept against a wall and she was standing on top of the ladder...etc..and always ended with..what is her height?'

3)Now, in spite of my height, which unfortunately is still half inch short of 5 ft, I used to play basketball in school! Did I hear any sniggers? But seriously! I love the game and I used to play quite well too. Of course, if I play with real tall people or professionals, I am sure I stand no chance to even get my hand on the ball. But in school, with people equal in talent, I used to play well...they used to get bugged of me coming from nowhere and tapping the ball away...

4)I have done so many different kinds of dances...I have learnt 3 Indian classical dance forms and just love all of them. But in our school, every other day was some 'day' and for each of these I used to be one of those on stage. We have danced classical, folk dances, tribal, Naga dance, folk dance of Himachal pradesh, dappan koothu....anything. Once we wore black Naga dresses and danced on the roads in Cochin....that tricky stuff with sticks and us girls jumping in and out of them...says a lot about our self confidence doesn't it???? :P

5)Every year for the 'Ramayana' day/week, I was Sita and that too the one in the forest!And every year, shamelessly, I used to borrow the sari from one of our teachers, who was the only one who had a saffron coloured one! She used to exclaim..'you are Sita? Again???' :D

6)I did not know cycling. I directly learnt to drive a Kinetic Honda. And then went back to cycling during my PG in the campus!!! I miss my Ladybird!

7) Talking of riding, I am a typical 'female' when it comes to driving, road sense and directions. I got my driving license in India and tried driving on 1 or 2 Sundays to office when the traffic was comparitively decent. On the second day, I got scolded by other drivers at two signals and I promptly took the car back home, parked it and went by auto to office!!! I am thinking about going for driving classes in Dubai...for the last 4 years!!! I admire and envy women who drive well!

8) I have never been thin...in school, I was not considered thin..in college, when I looked at my school snaps, I thought I was thin...then during my PG, when I looked at my graduation snaps, I thought I was thin then...now when I look at my wedding snaps, I think I was thin then...I add weight slowly and steadily...try and imagine what I look like now!

9) I am a movie buff...love all kinds of movies...The platinum jubilee of Indian cinema was during my 10th std public exams. And in those days of only Doordarshan, they were playing Guru Dutt movies, Satyajit Ray movies, Raj Kapoor movies - one every night! I watched every single one...exams would come again!!!

10) I am a crime buff..not a criminal...I love crime in books and movies...investigative thrillers...not movies full of violence...Recently, I discovered a treasure house of onscreen mystery stories (Poirot and Holmes) on the net...and I cannot explain how thrilled I am! May God bless the guy/girl who uploaded those!!!

11) Nancy's post reminded me. I had an imaginary little sister too when I was small. Being an only child, I guess that was a wish coming true through imagination. Her name was Shalini and was modelled on Baby Shalini, the child artiste!

12) My husband and I were at school together..from class 5 to 12! :-)

13) I am extremely bad at decision making - especially personal ones. I conventiently blame it on my sunsign and even proudly tell myself it is because I have the ability to see all sides of things!!!

14) I once danced on the streets of Coimbatore! For a classmate's sister's wedding. The music was a band playing Rajinikanth songs...you know...naan autokkaran, vandenda palkaaran and the like... :D It was atrocious and fun!!! Colours was with me too...remember how we hid to avoid having to follow the bridegroom's car around the city dancing and still ended up dancing on the road just outside the wedding hall????

15) I am the happiest in the company of family or friends - laughing, making wise cracks and pulling legs...even though more often than not I am on the receiving end!

16) I adore old Hindi songs...1950's and 1960's are my favourites...Beyond 1980, I hardly listen. But the new ones are good...so I am back to listening now....I go crazy about the lyrics in the songs...and love romantic, soulful, sad melodies...esp of Mukesh! I have surprised many of my North Indian friends with my knowledge of old Hindi songs and movies!

17) I am not good at housekeeping and household chores..I think I am tolerated only because of my charm...which again according to Ms. Goodman is not to my credit..but due to my sun sign! sigh!

18) I have a beautiful mother who is supposed to look like the actress K R Vijaya and a granny who is so fair that she is almost white. So I always considered myself dark and ordinary looking. So I still find it difficult to believe anyone who pays me a compliment on my looks.

19) I had long, thick, wavy, black locks of hair when I was younger. It's almost all gone now!!! :((((

20) I smile/laugh easily. Most of the time, I have a toothy grin. I have a set of white, evenly placed teeth but they are a little to the front due to thumbsucking while I was a baby! I shall never forgive our dentist who told my mother I do not need braces unless she was planning to make me a film actress. Well..I solve the problem by totally avoiding profile photographs...hee hee...

21)We were a gang of 10 at college and all of us loved music. There were some extraordinarily talented singers in the group. We spent a lot of time visiting temples in and around Trichy, talking, laughing,singing songs and eating prasadam. This would sound extremely tame to the the clubbing, dancing, pub going generation...but we had some great times.

22) Talking of clubs and pubs...I haven't been to one. And isn't that so bad! There were some DJ programmes at office while working in India and I liked it. I love fast music and dancing. So I think I'll like it. But I don't like cigarette smoke, crowds and loud noise...so I don't know! Should try it out some day!

23) I have always had many many friends. My mother used to say every new place I went, I would add friends and there would be no subtraction. I am still in touch with some people with whom I studied only from class 1 to class 4.

24) I can lift my eyebrows one at a time. I developed that skill by regularly practising in front of the mirror while I was small.

25)I love babies and small kids. Every morning, when I go to my daughter's daycare (which is in fact a nursery school), I come out smiling at the sight of the cute,little,two-and-half-year-olds in tiny school uniforms, some smiling, some talking, some in tears. If I lose my job due to too much blogging during office hours or the recession, maybe I'll do babysitting!

I don't know 25 people to tag! So I tag anyone who reads this and wants to try their hand at it!!!

Alive and Dancing....

2009-02-17T11:12:00.001+04:00

It has been six months now since I resumed my learning of bharatanatyam.

I had joined on the spur of the moment. After enrolling my seven year old daughter for the classes, I was in class watching one day, when I told the teacher that having learnt bharatanatyam for several years, it is a little difficult for me to just sit and watch. And she very kindly asked me to go ahead and dance.

I have been enjoying the experience. But it is also a funny situation.

The teacher is almost my age. In fact, she could be a year or two younger…I didn’t try to find out! So I avoid doing the usual falling at feet stuff…

The oldest kid in the most senior batch would be 17. That is exactly half my age! Unlike in India, there are no students older than that since all the kids leave Dubai after the 12th grade, for higher studies, in India or abroad.

Since I can go for classes only on weekends, I sometimes have classes with the seniors and sometimes with the juniors who would be 10-12 year olds.

Since the little ones are also there and they are learning the basic steps (or adavus), we seniors also join them sometimes…some kind of warming up, refresher and stamina building. This means I get to dance with my daughter! Isn’t that just wonderful!

Well…I thoroughly enjoy learning with the kids..not sure if they enjoy having an ‘aunty’ in their midst!

I have fun observing them…especially in the practice room inside where we go and wait or practice when someone else is dancing.

The tiny ones sincerely practice till the class is over and then they promptly start playing with the teacher’s six year old son and all his toys.

The juniors generally make a lot of noise...talk a lot. They are also very competitive. Each one wants to do better than the other. They are also prompt in pointing out the mistakes of the others. And they perform best when the teacher gives them a ‘test’ with marks.

One of these girls asked me if my daughter was my sister. I was quite thrilled but I think it was less because I look young and more because she couldn’t believe that mothers would dance! When I said she was not my sister but my daughter, she looked shocked and asked me..’Does that mean I can call you aunty?’. I told her that I believed that was the right thing! :-|

The seniors hardly ever practice …how can they when there are so many interesting things to talk about. You know like boys, school, boys, movies, boys, songs, boys… I have a feeling they might be the ones most troubled by my presence, poor things, because they would have to censor quite a lot of their talk with me around… they really don’t need to..but they don’t know that!! Every little chance they get, they start one of these ‘interesting’ topics..sometimes even during the class. The teacher and I usually share a smile and roll our eyes!

But I am really enjoying the whole experience. Nothing else could get me out of bed and in the class at 8 am every weekend!

Testing Times.....

2009-02-09T11:43:00.001+04:00

I think I am going back in time.

Back to school, studies and exams. Only this time my daughter's.

Though my daughter has been going to school for 4-5 years now, I have not really spent too much time with her on studies and stuff. But now looks like all that is going to change...and she is only in Grade 2.

I don't want to be one of those mothers who treat a Grade 2 exam as an IAS exam and lose sleep on those 1 or 2 marks the poor kid loses in the exam.

I was happy that my daughter was studying in a school where there are no exams till Grade 5 and the assessment is supposed to be done continuously based on the child's performance and attention in class. I figured that by the time she has to start writing exams, she will be old enough to study on her own too....

Looks like I was mistaken....

The continuous assessment that these guys talk about are slightly different. It means that there are worksheets instead of question papers. Instead of the exam dates, you get subtle warning messages in the form of diary notes that say 'revise chapter so and so in English'. When you get a message that runs like this, it actually means that 'Hey...make your kid learn that stuff well in another 3-4 days...one of these days, she has to do the worksheet'. This message is repeated every day. When it stops,you know that the worksheet has been done.

As far as my understanding goes, the continuous assessment system works in such a way that the entire learning happens in school. There is no extra coaching required at home. The children are given surprise tests in class and they perform based on how well they have been taught in class and how much attention they have been paying in class.

This is not going to work in a class of almost 40 children.

This is also not going to work if 80% of the mothers sit at home and teach their kids and even send them for tuitions and extra classes.

Once this happens, then the remaining 20% is also forced to do the same...so that the grades their child gets is the one they really deserve in comparison with the rest of the class.

If this is the case, then I'd prefer the exam system itself. At least you get the exam time table in advance and the child just needs to prepare for the exam.

Now the system is all mixed up..so they say revise and give a huge list of stuff...without any dates...which means you have to make the kid ready with the whole stuff all together and then wait for the surprise tests!!!!

It's not easy, especially for a working mother...or a travelling one, to spend so much time every day.Either they should be able to totally avoid teaching the kid at home or they should be at least able to plan their time...is that too much to expect...especially when you spend so much money on education these days.

In fact, the revise warning notes are actually meant to help the working mothers to plan their time and I will not deny that they do help. But what I say is that the whole purpose of the assessment system is lost when things happen this way.

That said, there are schools where they get it right as well. My mother is a teacher and she tells me that in her school, they do the assessment system the right way. They insist that parents do not teach the children at home and they do not even send the books home with the children. The entire learning is done in the class and the assessments are purely based on their performance in class and the surprise worksheets that test application of knowledge than the lesson itself.

The Event...

2009-02-01T11:58:00.001+04:00

This is a short post to place on record how the event went.

I couldn't go and I know I missed something great. My mother went as a special guest. She went with her best friend and a few close relatives and friends - she needed lot of moral support, I am sure. She was asked to light the inaugural lamp. The chief guest and the speaker spoke kind words about my father as they both knew him well. It was very well attended and there were several people who told my mother that they made it a point to attend the speech mainly because it was in the memory of my father. There were many people who came and told my mother that my father's lectures and talks used to be mesmerizing and that they were huge fans of his. The event was covered by local media.

Needless to say, my mother was overwhelmed by the whole experience. She said she had a tough time keeping her emotions in control.

We have not done the usual practice of enlarging his photograph and keeping it in the living room with a garland around it. Both my mother and I could not somehow bear the thought of doing that. Even for my wedding, there was a talk of having my father's photograph enlarged and displayed so that I could take his blessings. Luckily, my mother, who knew my thoughts on the matter, refused. I am glad, because weddings are emotional enough without having you reminded of the biggest loss in your life.

My mother said that her conviction that we did the right thing by not having the photograph enlarged just became stronger after the event. The organizers had displayed life size photographs of my father on either side of the stage. My mother said she felt like he would just walk down the steps. After several years, she came home that night expecting him to be there and wanting to talk to him about the event. Needless to say, she could not go to sleep without medication that night.

I wonder...does time really heal?

My Inspiration for the New Year...

2009-01-04T19:13:00.001+04:00

There are some days which start in a very ordinary way and then become very special because of something that happens which touches you, moves you, inspires you and motivates you.

Today was one of those days.

It started like any other day. I went to my office as usual and checked my office mail. Then I opened my gmail account to check my mails. I found a mail from an id I did not recognize and a subject which made me curious.

I opened it and I found a note from the Chairman of IIChE (Indian Institute of Chemical Engineers). It was an invite for the inaugural lecture of a series of annual lectures the IIChE is going to conduct starting this year. The first lecture is on ‘Chandrayaan I and team building’ and will be given by the Director, SHAR, ISRO on the 14th of Jan in Cochin.

This email has come to me because the lecture series is established in the memory of my father, almost 15 years after his demise.

View the Invite!

I am a very proud daughter today.

It is an honour to know that my father is remembered even after so many years. It feels wonderful to know that in the short time that he had, with the limited audience that he had, he still made a difference.

Today was the first working day of the New Year and I could not ask for anything more inspirational or motivating than this. It made me want to stop living life one day to another. It made me want to learn more, share knowledge and contribute in what little way I can to the world. Our parents worked hard to make the world a better place for us to live. Shouldn’t we do the same for our children?

As a daughter, I felt overwhelmed and emotional.

My father was always the most special person in my life and now I missed him again. He passed away when I was only 19. Being an only child, he was my friend with whom I used to watch TV and movies, listen to music and play games. He was the friend to whom I used to tell all the pranks the boys played in class (which he used to promptly repeat to them when they came home!!!).

But I have always felt deprived because I did not know him after I became an adult, a family woman, a professional. When I see how people remember him professionally, I want to know him better and learn from him. I want to discuss his work and my work with him. I want to know his philosophy on life, family, relationships, religion.

But then again, I think. Maybe it is wonderful this way too. I shall not have to remember him as an ordinary person. I shall not have to remember him as an old man who forgets things. I shall always be able to remember him as a brilliant person who could talk about anything under the sun, who scored a 100 in every mathematics paper from class I to Engg final year, who could answer all my questions, my idol on the pedestal.

But….I miss him so much!

Year-2008-for-me

2008-12-26T11:20:00.001+04:00

Colours has tagged me to write about 'the year 2008 for me'...and twin souls that we are and have been, I was already thinking of doing that anyway.

Come to think of it, there were some really significant and life-enhancing things that happened this year, I think... And there have been more good than bad...

--> 2008 began on quite a wonderful note. There is this old school mate whom I met online after 15 years and who quickly became a very good friend. I got to meet him with family after almost 1.5 years of only online interaction on the New Year's day!

--> Also it was a new year spent in the home town after several years and that made it great too...there IS a special atmosphere in Kerala for Christmas and New Year which I love!

--> Finalized and booked an apartment in the hometown...I am really looking forward to the completion of the project this year!

--> Started contributing significantly to the company's business in the region being the sole presales person and also learnt to work alone without a team or even a colleague...

--> Started travelling a lot within and outside the country on work...and travelling and regularly meeting new people does build one's confidence!

--> Started blogging!!!! And more importantly reading blogs! I have discovered a wonderful new world out there and even made a few friends in the blogsphere!

--> Watched with pride as my daughter stepped into the world of dance...knowing that no one can debate where those genes came from!

--> Resumed learning dance and dancing regularly after a break of almost 10 years. This is something I sure look forward to keep doing for a long time to come! It has done wonders to my mind and body. I can just see my stamina improve after each class and what it does to my mind is just beyond words!

--> Discovered that an old classmate and friend works and stays close by. Already had a few girls only chat sessions with her...hope to do a lot more of that next year!!! :D

--> A better apartment and a new car here...and lot of good times with the family...times that make me thank God for His blessings...

--> Continue missing all the great friends who were around while in India....but having a good time in the company of whatever little extended family is available in this foreign land.

--> Learning things about myself and how I react to situations faced in life and not so sure I like some of those...maybe I should focus on some self improvement in the new year!!!!

--> Facing the eternal dilemma in work life - a job with more learning or one with more money? A job that gives more freedom or a hi-fi designation? A job that gives me less than what it takes from me or an MBA to further my career?

And now comes the new year that brings with it another great dilemma - job, travel, learning and dance or a new baby!!! :)) Well... I sure am interested in seeing what 2009 has to offer me!!!

HopPIN' Mad!!!

2008-12-17T10:10:00.001+04:00

A few days back, my husband took my ATM card and went to get some money. He forgot the pin and managed to successfully lock my card. Didn't think of giving me a call after the second mistake and getting the right PIN.And don't think I change my PIN every other week. I have had the same PIN number for the last 10 years...across banks and countries!!!!

So now I was stuck with an ATM card that didn't work and as luck would have it the internet banking also stopped working at the same time.

Now whenever it comes to calling up anything - movie booking, ordering food and groceries, directory enquiries...just about anything..it automatically becomes my job. So naturally, calling up the bank to fix the problem became my job too.

And when I don't like to do something or it is not absolutely urgent, I normally postpone it...so I kept putting off calling the bank and my husband kept reminding me to call every day.

Finally after almost 7-8 weeks, I finally called up the bank call center.

CCGuy: "Welcome to ... bank. This is ... How can I help you?'
Me: Hi... well, you know...I entered the wrong pin and now my ATM card is locked (how I hate to admit to some mistake which I did not make!!!) Can you reset it for me?
CCGuy: Yes, Ma'am. Can I ask you some questions for security reasons.
Me: (sigh! Here they come!) Yes!
CCGuy: What is your date of birth?
Me: (That is easy) DD-MM-YYYY. (I don't LOOK that old..really!)
CCGuy: Where was your passport issued?
Me: (That is easy,too) Trichy
CCGuy: Which branch did you open your account in?
Me: (Not bad) Bur Dubai branch
CCGuy: What is your account balance?
Me: (Oh-oh!!) hmm.. I really do not know..since I did not have the card, I haven't checked for a long time.
CCGuy: Okay, can you tell me your last withdrawal amount and date????
Me: (WHAT?) See..it was some time back..I really do not remember.. the last deposit could be my salary transfer of xxxx amount, I think (the company could have reimbursed my claims too along with the salary)
CGuy: (Very disbelieving) hmm...okay...fine, we will reset the PIN to the initial number.
Me: (WOW! That was not so bad) You mean the last PIN that I had before it got locked?
CCGuy: No Ma'am.. the PIN which the bank sent you when you first got your card.
Me: (What!!! 3 years back???) Oh no, I may not remember that! Will you mail me the PIN or something, please
CCGuy: (What an idiot!!!) No Ma'am we cannot do that.
Me: (boo hoo!) Oh..then what CAN I do???
CCGuy: You can apply for a new card right now. It will be sent to you by courier in a week's time.
Me: (sigh!) Okay, please do that.

After a week, I receive the new card by courier. The card comes with a letter that says the PIN will not be sent but I can call up the call center and set a new PIN.

Sigh!So I call again.

None of the 10 options the recorder lady said sounded right. So I dial 0 for an agent.

CCGuy: "Welcome to ... bank. This is ... How can I help you?'
Me: Hi... well, you know..I just received a new debit card and I want to set my PIN.
CCGuy: Sure Ma'am what's your card number?
Me: xxxxxxxx
CCGuy: Now I'd like to ask you some security questions
Me: (sigh!) yeah, okay
CCGuy: What is your date of birth?
Me: DD-MM-YYYY. (I don't LOOK that old..really!)
CCGuy: Where was your passport issued?
Me: Trichy
CCGuy: Which branch did you open your account in?
Me: Bur Dubai branch
CCGuy: What is your account balance?
Me: I didn't have the card for a long time..so I don't know. :(
CCGuy: Okay, can you tell me your last withdrawal amount and date????
Me: I am sorry...last deposit could be my salary.
CCGuy: You have had some other transfers from your company in India. Can you tell me those.
Me: (Huh???) I am sorry. I have no idea.
CCGuy: What is the email id you have given in the bank for your records
Me: Can you tell me if it yahoo or gmail?
CCGuy: (oh dear, how do I help this woman!) Can you tell me any transaction you did any time in the last 3 months?
Me: (dear me!!!) Okay..give me a second..let me see if I have any old statements with me....(Does this guy have any idea how difficult it is to find ANYTHING in my bag!!!! yahoo....here is one statement of October!!!) Hey..I could find one..here are 3 transactions!
CCGuy: (phew!!!) That's great Ma'am. I have activated your card now! You can now log on to your telebanking and change your ATM PIN. I will tell you the steps for changing the PIN. I hope you remember your telebanking PIN!!!
Me: (Telebanking!!! Did I have a telebanking facility??? I had NO IDEA!) I'm sorry...I really don't think I'd remember...though I could give it a try...(If I have set the PIN, I know what it would be..heh..heh)
CCGuy: No problem Ma'am..do try it and if it fails, you will be transferred back to us and we will reset your telebanking PIN for you!!! Have a good day Ma'am!!!

Hummmphh!!! He expected me to have a good day after that last statement! Well...he was a cute-sounding guy, I admit. Well to cut a long story short, I did not know the telebanking PIN and I got CCGuy no 3 and answered all his questions (this one also asked me my mother's name) and very sceptically he reset my telebanking PIN!!!

They announce that they might record the conversation for training purposes. I bet they use mine to train the guy how to help women who remember NOTHING!

Now they say for fixing my internet banking problem, I have to call another number!!!! If anyone tells me banking has become easier these days, I shall scream!!!

Excuses...

2008-12-15T20:55:00.001+04:00

I guess one of my New year resolutions should be to be more regular in blogging. I've been doing only blog reading and no blogging for several weeks now. The excuse is defintiely lot of work and not enough time. But then, that I guess is just that, an excuse.

It is true that I have been doing more work than before. Like most companies, my company also has decided to use the recession as an excuse to remove people, cut salaries, stop increments and promotions, hold recruitment...the works! The result is that there has been no replacement for the 2 people who left last year and there is no one even for the admin job. So the people who are left out are overloaded and playing all kinds of roles. A friend of mine in the US could not believe himself...he was working more after the salary cut!!!

Well...anyway...I guess one has to be thankful for the job one has these days..so I am not cribbing....

And then there were the eid holidays! 5 days at a stretch... what bliss! We took off to Muscat and had a great family gettogether.Time spent going places, talking, laughing, driving and playing Uno!

There was also another small reason that I did not know what to write about. With things like the Mumbai terror attacks happening, writing about anything else seemed so trivial. And writing about it seemed so difficult because anything one says would sound cliched and inadequate.

I have also been thinking.

When people talk about life, they say life is short and that we should live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment. But does that mean that we just do what gives us pleasure at the moment without thinking about the future, without looking at the larger picture? We now know that what seemed life changing and huge while we were younger, say in school or college, was really not as big as it seemed then. Is it not the same now as well?

I don't know...if any of you could make out anything from my rambling, let me know what you think!

On parties and things like that...

2008-11-02T22:37:00.001+04:00

This is one post that has been long overdue.

I promised to update you all on how my trip went.

Well..the trip went quite well. Thank you all for the words of encouragement after that last cribby post!

I was able to complete the task on time as per the plan. Thankfully, there were no glitches. This was only the first phase of the project...the rest would come some time in February or March once the customer is ready for the actual implementation. So, for now, it is waiting time.
There were no problems on the home front either...father daughter team managed quite well... even though the husband took instant revenge by taking off to China for 3 weeks(!!!) as soon as I got back!

This weekend,I arranged a birthday party for my daughter at home. She invited her friends from the school and the day care. We ordered a huge vanilla cake (she chose one that was shaped like a book!). I planned a few party games and ordered Happy Meals for the kids from Mc Donalds. I wouldn't have dared to do a party on my own while the hubby was travelling...but since the brother-in-law and the cousin brother were around to help out with the decorations, picking up the cake and the food and for general helping around, it was no trouble at all...

The party was sheer fun! I was a little doubtful about the games I had chosen...but I need not have been!!! Kids these days are so amazingly smart that they never fail to amaze us elders!

I realised that I had totally underestimated them while planning the games. We had a game where the teams had to pick a piece of paper in which an occupation was written...you know...like doctor, nurse, postman, policeman. The kids were divided into two teams and one person from the team had to do a dumb charade of the occupation he/she picks up. The others in the team had to guess! Being old fashioned, I had picked simple stuff like doctor, dancer, postman, teacher ...and the kids were making guesses like immigration department...banker...chef!!!! Oh dear....we adults were put to shame!!!

And how the kids talk!!! There was one little guy who wanted to win every game...by hook or by crook! He tried to bribe me...refused to have 'babies' in his team (Couple of kids had brought their younger siblings along)...blamed his team when they couldn't guess what he was doing in the charades game...made up brilliant stuff in the 'I spy' game...just kept shocking and amusing us elders in turns!!! We couldn't help but wonder how he would turn out in a few years' time out in the real world!

And there was this little 7 year old girl who, as she was leaving after the party, touched the chain I was wearing and said 'Nice pendant, aunty'...sounding so much like a young lady!!! It took me a few seconds to find my senses and thank her for her appreciation!

The end result of the party is a lot of yummy cake,chocolate milk and ice cream in my refrigerator... to test my willpower!!!!

Career Cribs!!!

2008-10-08T16:35:00.001+04:00

I have been doubting my abilities.

Ever since I started working some 10 years ago, my work has been appreciated. I have been told that I am sincere, committed and pay attention to detail. My superiors have always loved having me in their team. I have been given tasks with the confidence that I will complete it on time and with quality. The current job has been no exception. The latest compliment I received from my big boss, the VP, was that the company needs clones of me!!!

But recently, I started doubting if my way was the best way after all.

Like I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I have a challenging assignment coming up. It is challenging because it is outside the scope of my current profile and hence I have not been trained for it and I have not done it before. I know I can do it with some extra preparation from my side. But the problem is that for me to do my work well, there are some dependent tasks that someone else has to do. Also, even if not a formal training, I need someone to answer my questions and clear my doubts while I do my preparation. This has not been planned. No one has been planned for any of this. The reasons for this is manifold and not worth going into here... let us just say ignorance and a lot of politics!

So what has been happening is that I have to use my personal relationships with people and my inherent charm to get any help! I tell you, it is exasperating! It is just not fair that I have to be begging and waiting for the things that I feel is my right to have! But unfortunately, the other people are also justified in doing what they are doing...and me being born into this zodiac sign that stands for justice, cannot help but see that.

My experience has been that however tough is the task at hand, if you prepare well for it and remember God, you come out successful. This has been my experience right from school to this day. It is another matter that I prepare only just in time for the task. But I prepare all right! I don't know if I am right...I could just be very lucky.

But in this case, I had started feeling quite helpless! And if I am not prepared for the task, I get tense and worried. I am not one of those cool guys who just walk in ready to face anything that happens. I started thinking that I probably should be like that! My husband also said that sometimes you just have to be cool and stop wanting to be perfect in everything that you do. I felt that maybe he was right...maybe I should just stop worrying and trying to get help and do what I can with what I have.

But I was not able to stop worrying and so what I have been doing is to make the best use of what I have. Do whatever I can do on my own or get help from what little sources I have available.

But now things have slowly started falling into place. I have been able to get my hand on the product set up that I am going to use and do some testing on it. It will not be complete till the moment I start my work but still I have started feeling better. And yesterday the very people who were unable to help me were surprised that I had been doing my preparation with whatever limited resources I have and even paid me a compliment saying they wished they had more people like me in the team. It did not make me feel good but at least I was glad to know that my way is not totally wrong!

Personally also, I think this experience has helped me. I have found out who my real friends are. I know now who would help me for my sake and who would only do things if they have an advantage in doing it. Even when it comes to work, it is nice to have friends on whom you know you can depend.

It certainly doesn't help matters that to complete this task, I have to travel to another country and stay there for 10 days leaving my family to fend for themselves. I haven't stayed away this long before leaving the father and daughter alone. For all I know, though he doesn't lift a little finger when I'm around, he is going to do a better job than me when I'm gone. Men are like that! :) I hope they don't learn to manage without me... I like to feel needed and important!

So, finally, what all this rambling amounts to is that I'm off on this official trip starting next week...and will be away for a few days! Will let you all know how it went once I get back!

Tagging Away!!!

2008-09-27T14:06:00.001+04:00

It's her again! Tagged by the Reflector!

And how I wish I could think of some funny answers!!!! I couldn't. So here goes my serious answers to the tag...and its all more of less hypothetical when you are someone who has been married for almost 10 years and are the mother of a seven year old. Maybe I should answer the tag again as I would have answered it some 10-12 years back.. ;)

If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

Ahh... a hypothetical question! Someone betray ME?? Hah! Anyway...I guess it would be 'He that betrayeth is no lover'... :)

If you can have a dream come true, what would it be.

I guess world travel...in the company of anyone to whom I can talk 24 hours without getting bored....

Whose butt would you like to kick?

One of the caretakers sin my daughter's daycare... someone so unpleasant and impatient has no right to be doing such a beautiful job!!!

What would do with a billion dollars?

I'd save some, spend some and give away some!

Will you fall in love with your best friend?

I might... but I used to hate it when friends fell in love with me... :(

Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

Being loved... loving someone is half blessing and half curse....

How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?

Till we fall out of love with each other... which is bound to happen...

If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?

Assuming it's an attachment that he cannot break, I would ensure that I do nothing that makes me lose his company forever...

If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Food and healthcare for every child in the world.

What takes you down the fastest?

An Escalator??? (yahoo... finally a funny answer!)

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

Helping my daughter prepare for her 12th standard board exams.. ;)

What’s your fear?

That my daughter will fall ill.... I'm silly but unable to get over that fear...

What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Friendly and fun!

Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

It would be an impossible task for anyone to stay single AND rich for long....

If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?

Do people do that??? If there is one place where I cannot do multi-tasking, it is falling in love... one after the other, maybe...but not together...

Would you give all in a relationship?

All my love, yes.... but I'd like to keep my independence and my friends please...

Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?

I don't know...haven't had anyone do anything horrible to me... or did I just forget???

Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

In a relationship... I'm a die-hard romantic!

Now I need to tag someone. And Nancy has tagged everyone who reads my blog! But then my twin is there...Colours...do you dare do this??? ;)

And read2blew, I think you would have some interesting (read Mean!!!) answers to these questions...Wanna try???

Just some random thoughts....

2008-09-21T15:02:00.001+04:00

I am so bored!

I have nothing interesting or challenging to do. In fact, there is a very challenging assignment looming ahead, but the dates are uncertain. The planned date for that work has been getting extended for the last 3 weeks and I still do not know when it will come. In the meanwhile, I have nothing to do but prepare myself for the task coming up....And it's so difficult to find the motivation for the preparation without a date or a deadline!

So far, I had been finding this job interesting. It had a little bit of everything in it. A little bit of business development, a little bit of presales, a little bit of administration, a little bit of consultancy, a little bit of project management. I usually stay motivated as long as I find myself learning something new. But suddenly, I find that missing. I'm not sure if it is just a temporary slowdown. I hope it is.

It also does not help in anyway that of my two best online companions, one is totally offline and the other is terribly busy!

So, I decided to improve my mind and do some serious reading. Business articles and stuff.

I really liked two of the articles I read in The McKinsey Quarterly.

One was on how talented women thrive in leadership or career. The first point the article spoke about was that we should try and make our work more meaningful. It said that we should be honest with ourselves on what we are good at and then build those things into our everyday activities. Sounded good, I thought.

So what am I good at? Honestly!!! Based on my experience so far, I think I'm good at dealing with people. I usually am trusted and liked by superiors, subordinates, peers and customers. I am good at communicating using different modes - emails, documents, conference calls, presentations. I prepare well and work hard. I am good at learning new stuff.

I need to improve a lot in terms of planning, handling commercial stuff, negotiation and a whole lot of stuff like that.

Considering these, I think many of my strengths do play a significant role in my current profile - like presentation, customer/prospect handling and communication. What I miss is just having lot of people around me.

The other article spoke about business technology trends to watch out for.

In the recent time, I think my attitude towards entrepreunership has undergone a change.

Having been brought up in a family with only 'working' people and no 'business' people, I have had this dread for anything risky that doesn't bring a regular monthly income. But now, I think I'm more open to the idea.

For one, I sincerely feel that one should make a career out of what one loves to do. And for another, I think that if the end is good, it would justify the means. What I mean is that if you are successful at what you are doing, no one would care how you reached there. And if you have great ideas backed by a solid plan of execution, why should it not work?

This other article spoke of how modern technology and communication would help new businesses to thrive. It spoke of co-creation of a product by people or teams that are geographically separated. It spoke of how a business can make use of freelancers anywhere in the world to get the work done.

There is so much more opportunity these days for people with innovative ideas and plans. Wouldn't it be so thrilling to have one of your pet ideas succeed!!!

So how would it be if I went into freelance software development???

A weekend saga...

2008-09-13T12:48:00.001+04:00

I have become a grandmother!

Well, it is not the Palin story that I had a daughter when I was 17 who has in turn become a mother at 17! It's just that my 7 year old has adopted a little teddy bear as her baby and this means that my husband and I become grandparents to it. It's not easy. I now have to wake the baby as well as its mother, tell stories to both of them and take care of the baby when its mother goes to office...err...school. The baby, christened Brums, by the way, is permanently covered in my daughter's blue and white duppatta. She says it is Brums's favourite 'blankee'!!! It is nice to see the mother in my little girl..so loving and tender!

I remember my first doll. I named her Smitha...what an unimaginative name! All of my childhood I yearned for one of those dolls that would open and close its eyes. I was fascinated by them but never managed to own one! All my dolls were still and boring...and quite scary once I finished dressing them up. So one of the first dolls I got for my daughter was ablinking and singing one!

Today, I feel extremely positive and happy!

It must be because of a weekend well spent, I guess... despite the fact that the weekend began with an argument over the telephone, with my boss, who was being thick headed and refusing to understand what I was trying to say.

I should not brag but I have to say that I did some fabulous cooking for Onam. I made a spread that would have made Mahabali proud...saambar, aviyal, stew, erissery, pineapple pachadi and cabbage thoran. But the best part was that I made two payasams as per tradition...a black one and a white one. Parippu prathaman made of jaggery and coconut milk and the standard semiya paayasam. I am so proud of myself!!! Well done, Me, I say!!! :D

And today's positivism is purely because I'm back to doing something I love doing more than anything else...learning dance...Nothing can lift my spirits more than two hours of solid Bharatanatyam. It's true that the old stamina is missing and I need to put in some extra effort since the 'style' I'm learning now is different from what I learnt for 15 years...but what the heck! I'm loving it!!!

Hence, I'm feeling quite unlike my usual self and more like King Khan singing 'I'm the best...I'm the best..I'm the best' !!!

And the award goes to.............

2008-09-08T18:39:00.001+04:00

I'm thrilled! I have received an award for my blog content and design. Thank you, Nancy!!!! Since I consider myself a baby in the blogosphere, this is indeed a great honour!

As per the rules, I'd like to pass on this award to some blogs I love to read. Some of them are so popular that me giving them the award is like Filmfare giving an award to Tom Hanks. And I'm sure they have received as many awards for their blogs as Yesudas has received Best singer awards. But then, I do so enjoy reading what they write, so here goes....

Tys for his amazing sense of humour and brilliant posts that make you laugh every single time!

Bikerdude for his brilliant writing and inimitable illustrations that make his readers avidly wait for his posts...

PS because I love all her posts, both bubblegums and candies!!!

Reflections, whose open and friendly personality and carefree attitude is reflected in all that she writes. (Didn't see a rule that said I cannot award the awarder!)

Colours, my best friend, whose photography blog, I think, is lovely.

And read2blew, a dear friend, who refuses to post in his blog because he does not meet his own expectations. Writing is only one of his many talents, and I do hope he starts posting again! :)

Now the rules are:

1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back.

2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.

3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Brillante Weblog'.

4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize(optional).

5. And pass it on!

The case of the missing weeks...

2008-09-08T15:45:00.001+04:00

I am back in the desert city after a month of vacation - after experiencing Cochin rains and roads...Bangalore traffic and Chennai crowds.

Now I have a serious problem! I am unable to account for the first 2 weeks of our vacation. It's a mystery where those two weeks went! The third week, I remember, we spent 3 days in Bangalore and then 3 days in Chennai. The fourth week was spent literally running from one home to another finishing visits.

But the first two weeks? Where are they??? I shall never know!

And what is the outcome of our vacation? Family members feel they did not get any time with us. We wonder what happened to all those planned visits to the dentist and the doctor. And what about those temples we wanted to visit? How come we did not go to ANY temple this time?

I know..I know...I should not crib..at least I get to go on a vacation every year...but guys..but I just cannot help wondering...where DID I lose half my vacation???

But in spite of those missing two weeks, I think we did have a good vacation on the whole. We met lot of friends...some of them (4 in fact!!!) after 16 years! We had some real good outings with cousins...met a lot of relatives...and even managed to watch a movie.

So now back to toil...

Tagging on....

2008-08-31T15:44:00.001+04:00

A long overdue tag - tagged by Nancy.

The Rules are as follows..
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs, letting them know that they have been tagged.

I'm not sure if these are quirks at all...still...here goes...

1. I think in English and not my mother tongue and I'm not one of those people who do not know their mother tongue well... I have always spoken Malayalam at home and I'm good at talking, reading and writing it...but still I think in English!

2. I am a MAJOR day dreamer... and I day dream all the time that I'm not talking or listening or reading! ;) Especially when I'm in a car or bus... I have even day dreamt while I was driving pillion on a scooter! :D

3. I dream a lot in my sleep too...sometimes I wake up feeling I have never slept and have been running around all the time. When I was younger I could remember my dreams too... now I forget them most of the time...

4. I just LOVE courtroom novels and movies...Started with Perry Masons pretty young and later latched on to every Grisham I could find. While flipping through channels, if I see a courtroom scene anywhere (even in an old Hindi or Mallu movie) I get stuck! It's almost the same with thrillers and murder mysteries too...the investigative kind...not the gory kind..

5. If I get an interesting book (or a magazine), I cannot postpone reading it. I have even read books while cooking...I can read and make dosas...sometimes even chappathis...the bottle of oil or some tin would hold the book open! You should try it...makes cooking more interesting! ;)

6. I love babyfood! While in hostel, Colours and I used to get Farex or Cerelac from the shop in the campus and eat it in our room...Also at that time, I was using Johnson's baby soap and baby powder on doctor's advice to reduce my pimples..... I'm sure the shopkeeper thought one of us had a baby hidden in our hostel room!!! :O

7. I suddenly break in to dance while at home...When I was younger I used to dance more than I used walk at home... My grandma used to ask me to close the windows lest people outside think I'm mad!

Well..that wasn't so difficult...and I thought I wasn't quirky....maybe I'll find more if I think...but will stop with 7 for now! :)

No idea whom to tag...Colours, you want to try? And anyone else who reads this and hasn't done it already!

Light and Darkness...

2008-07-25T22:07:00.001+04:00

I'm in Kerala for my annual holidays and I'm experiencing power cuts again.

Power cuts are like siblings to me. After all I grew up with them!

They are really not so bad. In fact, they are much better than the other power failures. Those are like unwanted guests that come at the least convenient moment and you never know how long they'll stay.

Imagine having come to the crucial part in your cooking, where you need to just grind and add that stuff and pop! goes the power! Or you are about to send an urgent mail and off goes the internet connection. You are watching the most interesting part in a movie and there it goes...only to be back the moment the movie is over! So I really cannot think of anything kind to say about those...but these planned 30 minute power cuts are different...

I have very pleasant memories of power cuts during my school days. It used to be a bonding time for the family. Thirty minutes every evening of keeping all your duties aside and just relaxing. We used to sit in the balcony and listen to all those sounds you never heard when there was power. Sounds of crickets and other insects, sound of the rain water falling on the roof, or dripping from the sunshade. My father and I used to play antakshari and word games or I used to describe the pranks the boys played in class that day or we both used to find some reason to pull my mother's legs.

Now, I'm staying with my mother in her apartment. I find that power cut has become a time for socializing here. The ladies from the apartments come out and sit on the stairs talking and laughing. The children have fun playing. Today, we had the kids give music and dance performances. Its fun time and the kids have started looking forward to those 30 minutes.

I must be getting soft in the head... I almost love power cuts now...It must be age!

Quite at Home!!!

2008-07-15T19:24:00.001+04:00

A friend of mine made a profound statement yesterday. He said, “You seem to have all the comforts of Kerala out there in the Gulf and none of the crap”! Guess he was able to appreciate it living in Taiwan!

Anyway, it got me thinking and I guess he’s quite right. I have probably been blinded by the atrocious rents and the traffic blocks here…

Where else do you have the Lulu hyper market with every single one of the Kerala vegetables displayed beautifully? And get frozen version of the off-season vegetables. I got frozen ‘koorkka’ the last time I visited. Just open and fry…no washing, peeling or cooking…yummm….

Where else do you get plantain leaves for Onam and konna poo for Vishu?

And betel leaves and areca nut for joining a new music or dance class…

Where else can you shop in Malayalam and sometimes even conduct business meetings in Malayalam….

And listen to Mallu FM channels….

And get mota set (Mallu red rice and fish curry) in every nook and corner…

And watch the latest Mallu movie in the theatre…

And order food and grocery in Malayalam…

And get free Mallu movie on cable TV every week…

And have Malayalam taught in schools…

And have handsome Mallu doctors and comfortable Mallu sisters take care of you when you fall ill…

Most of these things I couldn’t get even in neighbouring Chennai for the 8 years I stayed there…

And all this without being bothered by hartals and bandhs every other day…without the dirty comments and looks (and worse) every time you step out…without worrying about getting home before it is dark…without getting frustrated with the absolute lack of progress around you…without mosquitoes buzzing around you carrying deadly virus…without power cuts and load shedding…without water shortage…without roads full of pot holes…without racing private buses…without breaking your head worrying how to save tax by investing the money you don’t have…

In spite of all this, if you still end up missing the monsoons, the greenery and the relatives, just book a ticket on a budget airline and be home in 4 hours…or get a month’s paid holiday every year with the airfare paid by the company…

No wonder so many people get permanent residence visas to Canada and Australia, and stay on here. I used to have this elitist contempt for the ‘Gulf Malayalee’ till I became one myself…

So have I inspired anyone to search for a job in the UAE and come over? I COULD do with some good friends here!!! :(

Bedtime Tales...

2008-07-08T12:27:00.001+04:00

My daughter has suddenly got fascinated by stories of the Hindu Gods. So every night it is my job to tell her one or two stories. Since I grew up on Amar Chitra Katha...and that too by reading each of them several times...it is not too difficult a job to find a story to tell her every night. I used to correct my grandma when she made mistakes in the stories..hah! Right now we are on the Dashaavataar (Vishnu's not Kamal Haasan's!) so that I don't need to think until all the 10 avataars are over.

When I read these stories as a child, I had no problem believing any of them and don't remember feeling even an element of surprise at all the impossible things that happen in the stories. But now, telling the story as an adult, is so totally different. I find myself searching for rational explanations to most of the stuff.

Now, how does one find a rational explanation for some people using a mountain and a snake to churn the ocean...and then churn out amazing stuff like a beautiful maiden and a pot of nectar that gives immortality!!! And how does one explain a sea turtle so huge that it could lift the mountain...or a wild boar that went to hell and rescued the planet earth using it's tusk! I started the Ramayana yesterday, so now she thinks babies can be born by the mother having some kheer. I think I'd better give the Mahabharata a skip...rather than explain 100 sons of Drutharashtra born out of 100 pots...and the Pandavas born by just chanting a mantra!!!!

But I must say I enjoyed telling her the stories of the devotees...stories of Dhruva, Prahlada, Sudaama and that little boy who crossed the forest in Krishna's company every day...it clearly conveys the message that having faith makes everything right in the end.

What is amazing is that she does not seem to be surprised at any of these irrational things. She is equally interested in space, the planets, the satellites and the weather...and can sit with a picture encyclopaedia for hours...and she also enjoys all these stories I tell her. The day she starts relating the two and asking me difficult questions I shall stop telling her stories!!!

Until then let me flaunt my knowledge and my memory!!! :D I'm enjoying the admiration in her eyes and the interest and anticipation on her face every night!!!

Skipped beats...

2008-07-06T12:36:00.001+04:00

Now I know what exactly people mean when they say their heart skipped a beat! Mine is doing that a lot these days.Before you all jump into any hasty conclusions, let me explain that this is not the pleasureable variety caused by handsome hunks. This is absolutely scary and freaked me out totally. You remember the feeling you get before an exam or an interview? Imagine having that feeling the whole day long. Imagine going through the whole day feeling like you are sitting outside the dentist's room waiting for that unsmiling nurse to call out your name!

Anyway, coming from a family of heart patients, I freaked out and rushed to a physician first and then to cardiologist. Well...after a series of tests of all kinds, it turns out that there is no problem with the heart so far. The doctor says these palpitations are harmless and the earlier I learn to ignore them the better. How does one ignore one's heart going beat-beat-gap-THUMP-beat-gap-THUMP-beat-beat-beat-gap-THUMP ???? Well, for now it looks like I've got to live with them.

So that's what I've been doing the last two weeks...getting myself poked on every available nerve for blood tests and getting tubes stuck all over me for ECGs and Echos. But I must say it is a relief knowing things are going on okay inside you... thank God for ultra sound!!! :D

Hopefully, all this will give me that extra motivation required to lose some weight and control my diet. I had just resumed dancing when all this started happening... so hopefully I can lose some weight while doing something I LOVE doing...

Will do another post about the dance classes...

Tagged!!!!

2008-06-24T12:50:00.001+04:00

Tagged by Nancy!!! Here goes....

I am: quite a normal person...and hence this is going to be a boring tag ...:(

I think: but I don't dwell...so I stay happy...

I know: just enough to manage with...

I want: a little bit of everything...

I have: been very lucky....

I wish: I was taller..well...I manage quite well with platform heels...

I hate: crowds and loud noise...

I miss: my father...he went before I could know him as a normal person...he is still the worshipped figure on the pedestal...

I fear: mosquitoes in India...and all that they bring with them...

I feel: hot! Hey, it's June in Dubai!

I hear: my daughter, talking to herself... :)

I smell: nothing fishy....

I crave: for fun times with old friends...like we used to have in college...

I search: for the right dupatta...which is assuming I found the salwar AND the matching kameez.... you can imagine the mess

I wonder: at my husband's patience...

I regret: being lazy with house work.... :D

I love: words.....and admire people who have a way with them...

I ache: when my child falls ill...

I am not: moody or sulky....

I dance: all the time...if my body is still, I'm dancing in the mind...

I sing: only when my singer husband is not around...

I cry: while watching movies... sometimes even for the not so sad scenes....

I dont always: fight...even when I probably should...

I fight: fair...when I do... though I manage to avoid it most of the time...

I write: nothing...only type...

I win: arguments with my daughter....so far....

I lose: track of stuff that I should finish doing...

I never: miss some birthdays...

I always: wear a watch...

I confuse: my husband by arguing both sides of a point....

I listen: to others....try it, you would get to hear some interesting things....

I can usually be found: grinning....

I need: to be liked...

I am happy about: who I am...

I imagine: the unimaginable.... and daydream the impossible.....

I tag: Colours and read2blew

Growing up???

2008-06-04T20:56:00.001+04:00

What I’ve been dreading for a long time has happened! My daughter has started speaking about ‘it’! You don’t get what ‘it’ is? You know.... 'LOVE'!!!! She spoke of ‘love’! We go ‘I love you’, ‘you love me’ at home all the time to each other. This is not THAT ‘love’. This is the ‘other’ love… you know…the ‘love’ love…....‘luuuuuurrrrrrrrvvvvvvvveee’..*smirk* *giggle*

Okay, I shall stop rambling!

Well, my daughter has been very innocent all these days. She does not talk stuff beyond her age as some children do and does not pay overt attention to any ‘uncomfortable’ stuff on TV or the movies. Even when my hubby and I get...er...affectionate...at home, she gives us an indulgent look, shakes her head and goes back to her book. Anyway, I’ve been quite happy about the way she handles that stuff.

Now recently, one day, she comes from school and tells me, ‘You know Amma, today A was holding M’s hand. And P asked them if they are 'in love’. A, M and P are her best friends at school! And she didn’t say it just like that. When she said the ‘love’ part, she had a naughty look on her face and she whispered it in our ears as if it was some taboo topic! My husband and I did not know how to react for a second. Then, resisting the urge to laugh, we told her that, there is nothing so great about holding your friend’s hand. It’s the most natural thing in the world to do. Then she said, ‘but he is a boy!!!’. And I said, ‘So what? Boys can be your friends too’.

I do really want her to grow up feeling that way. I want her to feel comfortable having lot of friends, boys and girls. I want her to understand that boys and girls can be friends and can hold hands and there need not always be ‘love’ in the picture. It’s only when you have lot of platonic friends that you can really experience the thrill of finding a romance! Isn’t falling in love with a friend when you least expect it such a thrilling experience?

Well, the end result of all this is that nowadays I’m busy teaching my six year old daughter that it’s perfectly okay to have boy friends and to hold their hands! Do you think this will boomerang on me in, say, another ten years or so???

All in a day's work!

2008-06-04T17:32:00.001+04:00

Phew! I feel like I've been running a relay where all the four runners are me! The last two weeks have been such that before I complete one task, I need to pick up the next and run! And each task required lot of preparation! So after lot of sleepless nights, neglecting the family and not blogging, I have finally got a small respite.

The trouble is there is nothing to show for all this work that goes in. Except the back and shoulder pain, of course! You get a prospect that looks good. You work day and night trying to answer all their questions, give several demos, study their requirements, work on the estimates, make a proposal that you think will suit them. Finally, they look at it and say 'too expensive'! Just like that!

You must remember that right from day one I’d have requested them, cajoled them and begged them to give me SOME idea of their budget. At least if their budget is low, we can avoid doing all this work! But no! Nobody tells their budget! They think that their budget is going to be higher than what we would quote and we will get a good deal out of them. Finally what is their budget? Some one-tenth of the price of our software! People here think ERP product can be bought like potatoes and tomatoes across the counter!

Well, it sure feels good to crib!!! Thank God my salary is not linked to the sales I make!

On top of all this, I go for two days to another country on an official trip, secretly wanting the hubby to realize all the work I’ve been doing at home while he sleeps in the mornings. I come back expecting him to throw up his hands and say, ‘oh, you superwoman! How have you been doing all this work all these years?’ And what do I find? Father and daughter content and happy in each others company! And the daughter shamelessly even says she didn’t miss me!

‘Kya family hai’….as Juhi Chawla says in one of those ads!

Dancing Genes

2008-05-16T12:34:00.001+04:00

I am so thrilled! My daughter has started her Bharatanatyam classes!

When a daughter was born to us, my friends said..'Good... you can teach her dance AND music'. I have learnt South Indian classical dance forms for almost 15 years and done quite a bit of dancing in school and college and my husband is a very talented singer and even now a key bhajan singer at Sai bhajans. Our friends were quite convinced that our daughter will be a singer AND a dancer. But we were not so sure! We knew that each of us contributed only half of the chromosomes...and remembered what we were taught in school about dominant and recessive genes... what if she sang like me and danced like him!!!! Oh! The horror of it!!! So we used to give a sheepish smile to our enthusiastic friends and subtly change the topic!!!

As she grew older, we were able to make out that she has some talent for singing. My husband, who is the severest critic when it comes to music and singing, admitted that she seems to sing well with the right notes and all that. It is indeed high praise coming from him! If I happen to hum a song while doing my cooking or in the bathroom, he starts screaming 'Shruti! Shruti!!!'....making the listeners think that maybe he suddenly forgot his wife's name and remembered an ex-girlfriend... nooo... it's just that I'm singing all the wrong notes... ('shruti' means 'pitch/tone' )

I was relieved! Singing is the one thing I wish with all my heart I could do. So I was thrilled that my daughter has not got my singing chromosomes!!! Forget about dance... I can teach her music.. and who knows, when she grows old enough she might even win us an apartment or two worth crores of rupees in some musical reality show!!!

So I was busy looking out for some good music teacher and was not able to find any in Dubai. Oh, how I regret leaving Singara Chennai, the heaven for classical arts and artists!!!

And then one day, my daughter tells me that she wants to learn Bharatanatyam. She has a few friends learning it and has also watched on with interest when I get into one of my dancing moods and practice at home. But I was not so sure... unlike music, you really cannot make out the talent for dance until you start learning and performing. But still I made a half-hearted attempt at searching for a good dance teacher. I'm quite a critic when it comes to dance as well. My regret at leaving Chennai surfaced again... I used to live in Adyar...within kilometers from the greats like Padma Subrahmaniam, Dhananjayans and the famous Kalakshetra itself!

But two weeks back, luckily, I came across a good teacher and was even able to watch her perform on stage before my daughter started her classes. So finally, last week, my daughter went for her first dance class! It was so nostalgic to watch her give the 'dakshina' to the teacher and start her first steps...

From the looks of it, she is enjoying the classes and learning quite fast.... and even teaching the younger kid next door who is also going with her to the class... It's touching when she takes my advice on dance seriously and tells me...'Amma, even though my legs hurt a little, I still danced like you said I should'...or...'Today I watched the big kids and learnt some new steps...like you used to do when you were small'.

I don't like the idea of parents forcing their children to do the things they love to do (or could not do)... but I'm really glad that she would get to experience the beauty and grace of Indian classical dance.

Early Memories

2008-05-12T11:34:00.001+04:00

This is because Nancy kind of tagged everyone who read her post on her earliest memories... here are mine... when I started thinking I found there were many...

Age 2-2.5
My friend A and I, both of us of the same age, running a race in the wide sit-out of my house. Me winning the race but hitting my face on the parapet wall and getting a blood clot on the front tooth...which stayed brown till I lost it at 5...

Pure Hearsay
Being very talkative and friendly, they say I used to stand at the gate and talk to all the people going on the road. On my second birthday, they say I stood at the gate and invited all and sundry for lunch, much to the horror of my mother.

Being an early talker and a very talkative child, I used to speak quite fluently by the time I was two-and-a-half. Whenever the conductor in the bus asked for my age (since the journey was free for kids below 3), I used to pipe in 'Why do they ALL want to know my age???', making the conductor very suspicious and my parents very embarrassed!

Age 3-4
Going to school in a cycle rickshaw with lot of other kids.

Standing on the window sill and having a conversation across the road with the boy next door. Being a few years older, he used to be terribly shy at having a little girl shout across the road telling him about her new bangles or chain...

Being told scary stories about the lady in white who sucks your blood by my cousin brother, 4 years older, who used to come over and stay during summer holidays. Waking up to his spooky voice going 'white sareee...looong hair'...and running to the kitchen screaming 'Ammaaaaaaa'...

Age 5
First day in Class one in a new school, heavy rains, yellow raincoat and butterflies in the stomach…

Climbing over the wall to play with J, my neighbor, also a 5 year old girl. We never used the gates to go to each other’s houses! Most of the time we used to play sitting on the wall, which was quite wide.

Eating half ripe guavas from the tree that stood in her house with salt and chilli powder stolen from the kitchen.

Well.. that WAS fun to do…and brought back lot of old memories!!! It sounds very different from the memories my daughter is going to have!!!

Not so popular...

2008-05-12T10:43:00.001+04:00

"Welcome back...This hour, I'll be playing you 3 songs back- to-back-to-back from Jewel Thief, Dharmatma and Tumsa nahi dekha'.. that's Dev, the RJ on Pulse, the FM channel I listen to every morning on the way to office. I hope against hope that he will play 'Rula ke gaya sapna' from Jewel Thief... but no...it is 'Aasman ke neeche...'! (sigh!) Not that I have anything against that song.. it's a lovely one. But I always find that in most movies, the songs I love are not the most popular ones. I love 'piya tose naina lage' and 'din dhal jaye' from Guide as against the more popular 'kaanton se kheench ke..' and 'gaata rahe mera dil'. I love 'nadiya kinare' from Abhimaan and not the most played 'tere mere milan ki yeh raina'... In Dil diya dard liya, I love 'Saawan aaye..' and 'phir teri kahani'..which I don't think I have heard any music channel play. And 'jurm - e - ulfat' from Taj mahal rather than 'Jo waada kiya'... There are so many more like this. Wonder why this is so? Could it be that the popular ones are played so often that we kind of get bored of them? I don't think so... because I could never tire of listening to some of these others... And those of you who don't know what in the world I'm talking about can skip this post.... :D ... and come back later........:-)

Summer showers!!!

2008-05-08T14:52:00.001+04:00

I feel like I have been drenched in a cool shower of summer rains!!! You are wondering how I can feel that way at 2:00 pm in May in Dubai???? No.. no... it is not another experiment conducted here by the Met. department that gave us some artificial rain a few days back! This is different... this is of the mind!!! This has come about as a result of a one-to-one rendezvous with a very handsome guy! Ah!! Now you all understand! At least the ladies do, I bet!!!

Hey, no! Don't raise your eyebrows at me! It is only fair!!!

Imagine roaming around in the scorching desert sun wearing a black blazer meeting strange people and convincing them to buy a software product. Imagine reaching 15 minutes late for meetings, thanks to the Dubai traffic and having to smile and apologize and tell them why they still need to like you and your product. Imagine keeping a sympathetic face while listening to them pour out their budgetary troubles and reasons why you should give them the 'best' price...while all the time your poor brain is working hard wondering what points to put forth to the boss and the sceptical people in India who give the estimates.Imagine working as a sales person who needs to give a good price to the prospects and win orders while actually you are a techno-functional person who knows what the product can (and cannot) do and how the same begging user would change colours and become absolutely demanding during the implementation phase!

So even though I am not young any more, on the wrong side of 30 and rushing at break-neck pace towards 40 (as PS put it in one of her posts)...I think it's okay to feel good about having a young, good looking guy listen to what I have to say with rapt attention for 2 whole hours, even though I was only talking about Master production schedules, chart of accounts and warehouse management!!! What do you say????

Forgotten Melodies...

2008-05-05T20:02:00.001+04:00

Has it ever happened to you that you suddenly hear a song that you have totally forgotten about for years? It happened to me yesterday and I just loved it!!! I was on one of my official long drives with the FM channel playing. And suddenly, out of nowhere, they play an old song which used to be a favourite among us girls in the hostel. The song was 'tumhe ho na ho mujhko to itna yakeen hai... mujhe pyaar tumse nahi hai nahi hai'...sung by Runa Laila for the movie 'Gharonda'

It's a cute song where the girl tells the guy that she knows for sure that she is not in love with him...only she seems to love the things he says...and keeps finding excuses to meet him...and wants to just be near him...and so on...

I heard it after 10 years and found I could still remember all the lyrics as the song played along. We used to repeat it so many times every day!!! It's not an artistically great song...wonder why we all loved it so much...maybe at that age, most of us found something to identify ourselves with in the song! :))

Wonder if there are more such things buried in my head under the rubble of projects, prospects, proposals, shopping lists, telephone numbers and bills!!!

On Love and Common Interests

2008-05-05T19:42:00.003+04:00

My husband and I just celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. It really doesn't feel like it has been that long.

While in college, I read M. Scott Peck's 'The Road Less Travelled'. It spoke of the difference between 'In Love' and 'Love'. It said that you would inevitably fall out of love with someone you are 'in love' with...and normally the crazy phase is replaced by a more stable and quiet phase which is 'love'. While you are excited, emotional and dependent while 'in love', the other feeling is stabler, stronger and more balanced. 'Love' is supposed to help the two partners grow together spiritually!

I don't know about spiritual growth, but my husband and I have certainly grown on each other.

We got married without the standard horoscope matching...and we were pretty sure initially that the 'horror scopes' would probably not match either. We were as different as two people could be, live samples of the Mars and Venus theory. He loved 'vanilla, strawberry, butterscotch' and I loved 'chocolate, chocolate, chocolate'! He loved movies with mindless action and mindless comedy while I was for thrillers, romantic comedies and drama. He could watch cricket 24X7 on TV and me, well... I liked watching lot of other stuff too..I read any book I got my hands on (If the book is really interesting, I can read it when I eat, cook, watch TV etc.)...he read nothing but the newspaper! I had too many friends and he had very few. He was crazy about cars and driving and for me every car was the same!!! He sang beautifully but he laughed if I as much as hummed a song !!! I loved dancing and he had two left feet!

But looking back, I guess living together harmoniously and happily doesn't really depend too much on having common interests.(Or maybe life would become too perfect then! ;) ) It only requires some genuine fondness for each other, respect for each other's feelings and the ability to forgive each other's faults.

Also, living together for so long has made us less different from each other. He loves chocolate now and thinks I do a good job of ordering food at a restaurant. I watch lots of cricket and know a little bit more about cars (though I still can't recognise most cars without going behind and looking at the name!!! How shameful!) 'My' friends have become 'our' friends. Even though we never pick the same movies when we go to the video shop, we still like most of the movies the other one picks and have a good time watching them together. We like the same kind of music and we admire the same artists. Well, he still laughs when I sing, but I also laugh when he dances, so that makes us even.

And I guess having a six year old, beautiful, lovable common interest doesn't hurt, either!!! :)))

Heidi...revisited

2008-05-01T22:28:00.001+04:00

I'm reading 'Heidi' again. I first read it some 20 years ago when I was 11 or 12. I loved it then and I love it now. I brought it from my last visit home thinking I'll read it to my 6 year old daughter. But when I tried doing it, I realised that the version I have is a little too advanced to be read out to her. So I'm reading it and telling her the tale in detail every night. When I read the book as a child, I read it from Heidi's perspective. Along with her, I fell in love with the mountains, the fresh air, the goats and the fir trees. I thought goat's milk and roasted cheese must be the tastiest food in the whole world! When I read it as a teenager, I tried to find romance in Heidi's friendship with Peter. When I read it now, I find that it is a book on child psychology, one that could help parents and teachers. It tells you how to treat a child and how not to. The grandfather treats Heidi as an equal, patiently answers her questions, lets her grow up free and happy along with his goats and loves her in his silent way. In Frankfurt, Frau. Rottenmeir suppresses the child's natural inquisitiveness with her rules and restrictions, takes away the things she loves most and does not even realise that the child under her care is homesick.The book also gives us a glimpse of the inside of a child's mind with all it's complexities. The part where Heidi suppresses her homesickness and unhappiness just because she does not want to seem ungrateful to the nice family she is in, is unbearably touching. I believe that is how children are. In all their innocence and amidst all their pranks, they do understand some large concepts like love and gratitude, much better than many adults. They are kind to animals and old people, just like Heidi is, wanting nothing more than to take white rolls of bread to Peter's grandmother and make it 'light' for her again. They believe in God implicitly and trust Him completely. The children can also teach the elders a lesson or two, like Heidi did by helping her grandfather get his faith back. Why is it that most of these qualities diminish and disappear as they grow up? I have no idea... but I'd like to think that 'Heidi' is probably an answer to my desperate plea for a 'Parenting for dummies' book!!! :-) And anyone out there who has not read the book, please do it....doesn't really matter how old you are!!!

Parenting for dummies

2008-04-25T11:29:00.001+04:00

Does it happen that when Moms blog, it ends up being something about their kids always? I'm sure it happens often. I think that's because kids are such great teachers. They make you think and change yourself for the better.

Last week, I found myself having fights and arguments with my daughter over something or the other every day. Most of these would end up in me losing my temper and screaming at her and her crying. Some of the times, I knew I was right. At other times, I wasn't too sure that I didn't just overreact. But every time, I knew that losing temper was not helping either of us.

After one of these bad fights, I suddenly realised what a bad example I was setting for my daughter. Normally, I'm an even tempered person and losing temper is pretty rare and happens only with my daughter when she is terribly bull-headed. But, she was unconsciously learning that losing temper and screaming like a banshee is okay. And also that, if you are REALLY angry, you can even throw some stuff around!(Yeah, I did that once too, I'm so ashamed! :-( ) I got a bad jolt! I certainly didn't want her to grow up an angry girl and become an angry, ill-tempered woman. And that too, because of me and my bad parenting!

I decided I needed to tell her that it's not right to lose temper and scream at people even if you did not agree with what they did. By then, we had both come to the stage of silent sulking. So, I said, 'Okay, there is no point in fighting. Let us stop fighting and be friends.' Then, we both had our evening showers, put on fresh night dresses and settled down to do the school work for the day. I told her that before we start, we should pray to God. I went first and said, 'God, forgive me for losing my temper and shouting. I know that it is bad manners to get angry, scream and throw things and I promise never to do this again.' From the corner of my eye, I could see her eyes open wide in wonder at what I was saying. She was clearly not expecting that! Once I finsihed, she suddenly came up to me and gave me a hug. She was feeling sorry for me that I had to let go of my ego and apologise, even if it was only to God. She sure knew how tough it was to say 'sorry'! She then said, 'It's bad to get angry, right? I know that too. That's why now I don't get angry with Aditi when I play with her. I share my toys with her and let her be 'teacher' when we play 'teacher..teacher'!'

I was not sure at all on how much truth there was in that last sentence, but I hoped it meant that the next time they played together, she would do what she said. And I went to sleep that night with a feeling that I haven't messed up too much........yet !!! Do we have a 'Parenting for Dummies' out there somewhere?

Happy (?) Birthday!

2008-04-18T12:09:00.001+04:00

I've been going on long drives for some time now. In the UAE, driving from any one Emirate to another takes a minimum of an hour. I have to go to the different Emirates to give pre sales demos to prospects who are looking at buying my company's enterprise software. I enjoy these drives mainly because I don't need to drive on my own and can do my own stuff - last minute preparations, catching up with sleep, just looking out of the window, daydreaming, calling up friends. But most of the time, it is the FM channels here that keep me company.

City 101.6 is one of the most popular FM channels here, though I'm not a regular listener. I prefer channels that play old melodies and have less talking and more music. City 101.6 has a programme called 'Birthday Pappu'. What they do in the programme is wish someone on their birthday based on a request from a friend/relative. But the way they wish the person is by making an idiot out of him or her, 'Live on air'. Of course, once they have done that, they sing a birthday song, apologise and shower wonderful gifts on the 'Pappu'! But I wonder if the person is really able to enjoy the rest of his birthday after being made a fool of in the morning.

Well, anyway, yesterday I was listening to an episode of the Birthday Pappu. I was not sure what to think of it at the end of it. The whole thing was immensely funny and the RJ did a great job. But I also felt terribly sorry for the person who was being made a 'Pappu'.

Well, looks like this guy is a nice, serious, decent guy who has never done anything mischievous in his life! His sister wanted him to 'losen up' and conspired with the RJ to make a 'Pappu' out of him. This guy had recently gone to 'see' a girl and there are discussions on in both families regarding the wedding. The RJ poses as this girl and calls up. The families involved are conservative Muslim families. The girl makes the guy admit 'on air' that he liked her and says that she would like to meet and talk to him a couple of times before they take things forward. Since her parents are strict and she cannot leave home during the day, she asks him to come and meet her at night!!! The poor guy is shocked but does not know how to refuse. When he tries, she goes all coy and upset and says 'so you don't like me??' Finally he agrees to meet her and she asks him to come to her flat after the family is asleep and stand outside the door and meow like a cat!!! She even makes him practice a few 'meow's and ends the whole thing with 'main aapki meow ka intezaar karoongi' (I'll be waiting for your meow!!!!)

The whole thing was hilarious for the listeners, all right! But it must have been terrible for the guy. It was obvious throughout the programme that he is the silent, serious kind! Even after he was told it was all a joke, he was not laughing. He was very polite and was saying 'I see' and 'Thank you' . Neither did he laugh nor get angry.

Probably a sister is allowed to play such pranks on her brothers! Whatever be the guy's feelings about what happened, I think he just might have made a few female fans in the process! Girls like nice, decent guys....maybe because they are not so easy to come by!!! ;) Well, I certainly hope he finds a soulmate soon, like 'Sleepless in Seattle' did!!!

Happy New Year!!! :-)

2008-04-14T09:34:00.002+04:00

I sincerely believe that posts in blogs should have some message for the people who read it. But if I want to keep updating the blog, I guess I have to just forget this feeling. I don't know when I'd be able to write something that conveys a meaningful message to people. So let me keep it a diary or a place to put down anything I like and then hope that anybody who comes across just likes it.

Today is Vishu (astronomical New year for the people of Kerala, India) and after several years, I prepared a Vishu 'Kani' (offering) at home. Vishu 'kani' is an offering which is a ritual arrangement of auspicious articles like rice, vegetables, yellow flowers, fresh linen, gold, metal mirror etc. The concept is that if you view this offering first thing in the morning on a New year day, you stay prosperous and happy throughout the year.

Yesterday, I was feeling quite guilty preparing the 'kani' because I did not have most of the mandatory items required for it. I decided to go ahead with it because a friend told me that it is the spirit that counts. And I was better off than her, because, staying in Belgium, she was planning to arrange a 'vishukkani' with candles (instead of the traditional lamp) and silk sari (instead of the traditional white linen of the Keralites) and with most of the other things missing. In the back of my mind, I still believe that if something is done, it should be done right. But I guess my daughter's thrill at being woken up and taken blindfolded to view the 'Kani' first thing in the morning kind of made it all quite worthwhile! In fact, when I explained it to her yesterday, she made me practice it with her several times!!! :)

I still remember Vishu when I was a child. 'Kani' was a big suspense because my mother used to prepare it only after I went to sleep. In the morning, opening my eyes, feeling the warmth of the lamps, and seeing the splendour of the 'kani' used to be quite a wonderful feeling. And then, all the money the elders used to give, the crackers and the sumptuous lunch in the afternoon...on the whole, Vishu was lot of fun. Only problem was that I had to get up early in the morning, and that too during the summer holidays. And my father used to insist that we have to burst crackers also before sunrise...while I would have been happy to go right back to sleep after seeing the 'kani' !!!!

Well, anyway, Happy New Year to people celebrating Vishu today! How crazy is it that we celebrate New Year thrice every year - once in January with the rest of the world, once for Vishu and once sometime in August or September which is actually the first day of the year according to the Malayalam calendar!!! :))))

Daughters...

2008-04-11T11:14:00.001+04:00

"I'll not play Barbie or Princess games any more. I'm a big girl now! I'm in Grade 2" That's my 6 year old daughter to her friend who has come over to play with her. Her friend is one year younger to her!

I can't really say I'm happy that my daughter is growing up so fast! She used to be such a darling little baby! I miss her baby days now! The trouble is, even though I can clearly remember my childhood and school days, I cannot seem to remember too much in detail about things that happened 4-5 years ago. When I remember my daughter's baby days, what comes first to mind are those monthly visits to the doctor..that deadly fear I used to feel every time she falls sick...the days when she had one of her fevers and I used to just sit up and watch her sleep, afraid to fall asleep myself...the helplessness and tears when she was in pain and I couldn't do anything to help.Even when she was not sick, I had developed this habit of putting my hand to her forehead to check for fever!

And now that she doesn't fall ill so often, she is all grown up!!!!

That's not to say I don't enjoy the time I spend with her now. I do! Now, I'm kind of able to make out what kind of a person she would grow up to be... I can see her character developing! For the last one year, we have kind of become friends and have regular conversations and I feel she understands me. I guess that's the wonderful thing about having a daughter. I have a friend with two boys and she says she just does not know WHEN they will grow up!!! And looking at some of the men I know (my husband included ;)) I cannot really give her a consoling answer!

I find myself wondering often what I was like at my daughter's age. Most of the time I end up realising that she is a much better person that I used to be at the same age. She is selfless and affectionate. In the games that we play together, she really is upset when I lose...she wants me to win and I can see her trying to lose so that I can win. I don't remember being that way when I was a kid!!!

It gives me mixed feelings...I feel happy that she'll be wonderful person but I'm also scared that she'll get hurt giving up too much for the people she loves!!!

Communication

2008-04-09T14:35:00.001+04:00

Well...after starting off with that last post, I found that I had absolutely no idea what I should blog about! Is there something called 'blogger's block' that I can use as an excuse?

I understand that the blog is an electronic version of a diary...but then aren't diaries supposed to be private? But I shall not complain. I am very much a people person. I like people and I like having people around me. I love to talk and also listen. So, in fact, the last one year when I've been working alone and not as part of a team has been quite strange. Some days I am all alone in the office and the peak team size in our office at any point in time is 3 people!!! If I did not have the internet and the option to chat with friends, I'd have probably gone mad!

Today is one of those days! I've been alone in office since morning and now it's almost time to leave. Couple of people from the partner company had come in the morning for a couple of hours of training...so it was not too bad.

Also, today has been a day of phone calls and co ordinations. Sometimes it gets so crazy... I use the landline, the mobile, chat and voice chat all together. I use google chat and voice chat to interact with colleagues in India, I use telephone to talk to customers and colleagues here locally in the UAE. Today at one point in time I had 5 GTalk windows open, out of which one was on a call. The craziest thing is that out of these 5, 4 people are in the same team in India and are sitting next to each other or in neighbouring cubicles. So they chat with me and then tell each other what they told me on chat and then tell me on chat what they talked!!! Isn't it a crazy world today????? I still remember the thrill I felt when I could first open multiple windows in my computer and toggle between them!!! Guess that was Windows 3.0 or 3.1 or something!!!

What would tomorrow bring??? Wouldn't it be interesting to imagine?

Recently, a friend and I were laughing at the fact that we used to actually write letters to each other!!! And not that long ago either...must have been just 10 years back... I know there are people who feel that with all these new technologies, the beauty of communication that used to be there before, is lost. But I somehow don't agree. Even today when I get an unexpected mail or a chat window pops up with a 'Hi' from a special friend, I feel the same thrill! And I'm so glad I don't need to wait a week to know what my friend thinks about something I wrote in the letter.

But I have to admit that I'm old fashioned enough to still love complete sentences without cryptic 'sms' words. I still prefer sentences with correct grammar, spelling and punctuation!

Why am I here?

2008-03-06T17:01:00.001+04:00

I guessed I should start by putting down my thoughts on why I'm here! Being a software professional, I've been in the constant company of computers for the last 10-12 years! But again, being a software professional working in India in addition to being a wife and mother, never really got enough free time or opportunity to browse the internet for long all these years! Now, for the first time in 10 years, I find myself in a job that lets me do some amount of surfing. Being outside India, being one of the two member team in the branch office, working on pre sales and not software delivery or project management, all seem to help.

All right! I know what you’re thinking now! ‘Okay! So you are jobless and are online 24 hours! Does that mean you should start blogging?’. I guess not! I started trying my hand at writing a couple of years ago when I saw a lot of people posting their articles, stories and poetry in one of the internal public folders in our company. So I thought, why not me! Well I HAVE been an avid reader all my life albeit of mere fiction…and I love words and the way they come together in a language…and I love English, old and new.

So here I am!