The Event...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

This is a short post to place on record how the event went.

I couldn't go and I know I missed something great. My mother went as a special guest. She went with her best friend and a few close relatives and friends - she needed lot of moral support, I am sure. She was asked to light the inaugural lamp. The chief guest and the speaker spoke kind words about my father as they both knew him well. It was very well attended and there were several people who told my mother that they made it a point to attend the speech mainly because it was in the memory of my father. There were many people who came and told my mother that my father's lectures and talks used to be mesmerizing and that they were huge fans of his. The event was covered by local media.

Needless to say, my mother was overwhelmed by the whole experience. She said she had a tough time keeping her emotions in control.

We have not done the usual practice of enlarging his photograph and keeping it in the living room with a garland around it. Both my mother and I could not somehow bear the thought of doing that. Even for my wedding, there was a talk of having my father's photograph enlarged and displayed so that I could take his blessings. Luckily, my mother, who knew my thoughts on the matter, refused. I am glad, because weddings are emotional enough without having you reminded of the biggest loss in your life.

My mother said that her conviction that we did the right thing by not having the photograph enlarged just became stronger after the event. The organizers had displayed life size photographs of my father on either side of the stage. My mother said she felt like he would just walk down the steps. After several years, she came home that night expecting him to be there and wanting to talk to him about the event. Needless to say, she could not go to sleep without medication that night.

I wonder...does time really heal?

My Inspiration for the New Year...

Sunday, January 4, 2009

There are some days which start in a very ordinary way and then become very special because of something that happens which touches you, moves you, inspires you and motivates you.

Today was one of those days.

It started like any other day. I went to my office as usual and checked my office mail. Then I opened my gmail account to check my mails. I found a mail from an id I did not recognize and a subject which made me curious.

I opened it and I found a note from the Chairman of IIChE (Indian Institute of Chemical Engineers). It was an invite for the inaugural lecture of a series of annual lectures the IIChE is going to conduct starting this year. The first lecture is on ‘Chandrayaan I and team building’ and will be given by the Director, SHAR, ISRO on the 14th of Jan in Cochin.

This email has come to me because the lecture series is established in the memory of my father, almost 15 years after his demise.

View the Invite!

I am a very proud daughter today.

It is an honour to know that my father is remembered even after so many years. It feels wonderful to know that in the short time that he had, with the limited audience that he had, he still made a difference.

Today was the first working day of the New Year and I could not ask for anything more inspirational or motivating than this. It made me want to stop living life one day to another. It made me want to learn more, share knowledge and contribute in what little way I can to the world. Our parents worked hard to make the world a better place for us to live. Shouldn’t we do the same for our children?

As a daughter, I felt overwhelmed and emotional.

My father was always the most special person in my life and now I missed him again. He passed away when I was only 19. Being an only child, he was my friend with whom I used to watch TV and movies, listen to music and play games. He was the friend to whom I used to tell all the pranks the boys played in class (which he used to promptly repeat to them when they came home!!!).

But I have always felt deprived because I did not know him after I became an adult, a family woman, a professional. When I see how people remember him professionally, I want to know him better and learn from him. I want to discuss his work and my work with him. I want to know his philosophy on life, family, relationships, religion.

But then again, I think. Maybe it is wonderful this way too. I shall not have to remember him as an ordinary person. I shall not have to remember him as an old man who forgets things. I shall always be able to remember him as a brilliant person who could talk about anything under the sun, who scored a 100 in every mathematics paper from class I to Engg final year, who could answer all my questions, my idol on the pedestal.

But….I miss him so much!

On Love and Common Interests

Monday, May 5, 2008

My husband and I just celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. It really doesn't feel like it has been that long.

While in college, I read M. Scott Peck's 'The Road Less Travelled'. It spoke of the difference between 'In Love' and 'Love'. It said that you would inevitably fall out of love with someone you are 'in love' with...and normally the crazy phase is replaced by a more stable and quiet phase which is 'love'. While you are excited, emotional and dependent while 'in love', the other feeling is stabler, stronger and more balanced. 'Love' is supposed to help the two partners grow together spiritually!

I don't know about spiritual growth, but my husband and I have certainly grown on each other.

We got married without the standard horoscope matching...and we were pretty sure initially that the 'horror scopes' would probably not match either. We were as different as two people could be, live samples of the Mars and Venus theory. He loved 'vanilla, strawberry, butterscotch' and I loved 'chocolate, chocolate, chocolate'! He loved movies with mindless action and mindless comedy while I was for thrillers, romantic comedies and drama. He could watch cricket 24X7 on TV and me, well... I liked watching lot of other stuff too..I read any book I got my hands on (If the book is really interesting, I can read it when I eat, cook, watch TV etc.)...he read nothing but the newspaper! I had too many friends and he had very few. He was crazy about cars and driving and for me every car was the same!!! He sang beautifully but he laughed if I as much as hummed a song !!! I loved dancing and he had two left feet!

But looking back, I guess living together harmoniously and happily doesn't really depend too much on having common interests.(Or maybe life would become too perfect then! ;) ) It only requires some genuine fondness for each other, respect for each other's feelings and the ability to forgive each other's faults.

Also, living together for so long has made us less different from each other. He loves chocolate now and thinks I do a good job of ordering food at a restaurant. I watch lots of cricket and know a little bit more about cars (though I still can't recognise most cars without going behind and looking at the name!!! How shameful!) 'My' friends have become 'our' friends. Even though we never pick the same movies when we go to the video shop, we still like most of the movies the other one picks and have a good time watching them together. We like the same kind of music and we admire the same artists. Well, he still laughs when I sing, but I also laugh when he dances, so that makes us even.

And I guess having a six year old, beautiful, lovable common interest doesn't hurt, either!!! :)))