The Event...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

This is a short post to place on record how the event went.

I couldn't go and I know I missed something great. My mother went as a special guest. She went with her best friend and a few close relatives and friends - she needed lot of moral support, I am sure. She was asked to light the inaugural lamp. The chief guest and the speaker spoke kind words about my father as they both knew him well. It was very well attended and there were several people who told my mother that they made it a point to attend the speech mainly because it was in the memory of my father. There were many people who came and told my mother that my father's lectures and talks used to be mesmerizing and that they were huge fans of his. The event was covered by local media.

Needless to say, my mother was overwhelmed by the whole experience. She said she had a tough time keeping her emotions in control.

We have not done the usual practice of enlarging his photograph and keeping it in the living room with a garland around it. Both my mother and I could not somehow bear the thought of doing that. Even for my wedding, there was a talk of having my father's photograph enlarged and displayed so that I could take his blessings. Luckily, my mother, who knew my thoughts on the matter, refused. I am glad, because weddings are emotional enough without having you reminded of the biggest loss in your life.

My mother said that her conviction that we did the right thing by not having the photograph enlarged just became stronger after the event. The organizers had displayed life size photographs of my father on either side of the stage. My mother said she felt like he would just walk down the steps. After several years, she came home that night expecting him to be there and wanting to talk to him about the event. Needless to say, she could not go to sleep without medication that night.

I wonder...does time really heal?

My Inspiration for the New Year...

Sunday, January 4, 2009

There are some days which start in a very ordinary way and then become very special because of something that happens which touches you, moves you, inspires you and motivates you.

Today was one of those days.

It started like any other day. I went to my office as usual and checked my office mail. Then I opened my gmail account to check my mails. I found a mail from an id I did not recognize and a subject which made me curious.

I opened it and I found a note from the Chairman of IIChE (Indian Institute of Chemical Engineers). It was an invite for the inaugural lecture of a series of annual lectures the IIChE is going to conduct starting this year. The first lecture is on ‘Chandrayaan I and team building’ and will be given by the Director, SHAR, ISRO on the 14th of Jan in Cochin.

This email has come to me because the lecture series is established in the memory of my father, almost 15 years after his demise.

View the Invite!

I am a very proud daughter today.

It is an honour to know that my father is remembered even after so many years. It feels wonderful to know that in the short time that he had, with the limited audience that he had, he still made a difference.

Today was the first working day of the New Year and I could not ask for anything more inspirational or motivating than this. It made me want to stop living life one day to another. It made me want to learn more, share knowledge and contribute in what little way I can to the world. Our parents worked hard to make the world a better place for us to live. Shouldn’t we do the same for our children?

As a daughter, I felt overwhelmed and emotional.

My father was always the most special person in my life and now I missed him again. He passed away when I was only 19. Being an only child, he was my friend with whom I used to watch TV and movies, listen to music and play games. He was the friend to whom I used to tell all the pranks the boys played in class (which he used to promptly repeat to them when they came home!!!).

But I have always felt deprived because I did not know him after I became an adult, a family woman, a professional. When I see how people remember him professionally, I want to know him better and learn from him. I want to discuss his work and my work with him. I want to know his philosophy on life, family, relationships, religion.

But then again, I think. Maybe it is wonderful this way too. I shall not have to remember him as an ordinary person. I shall not have to remember him as an old man who forgets things. I shall always be able to remember him as a brilliant person who could talk about anything under the sun, who scored a 100 in every mathematics paper from class I to Engg final year, who could answer all my questions, my idol on the pedestal.

But….I miss him so much!

Year-2008-for-me

Friday, December 26, 2008

Colours has tagged me to write about 'the year 2008 for me'...and twin souls that we are and have been, I was already thinking of doing that anyway.

Come to think of it, there were some really significant and life-enhancing things that happened this year, I think... And there have been more good than bad...

--> 2008 began on quite a wonderful note. There is this old school mate whom I met online after 15 years and who quickly became a very good friend. I got to meet him with family after almost 1.5 years of only online interaction on the New Year's day!

--> Also it was a new year spent in the home town after several years and that made it great too...there IS a special atmosphere in Kerala for Christmas and New Year which I love!

--> Finalized and booked an apartment in the hometown...I am really looking forward to the completion of the project this year!

--> Started contributing significantly to the company's business in the region being the sole presales person and also learnt to work alone without a team or even a colleague...

--> Started travelling a lot within and outside the country on work...and travelling and regularly meeting new people does build one's confidence!

--> Started blogging!!!! And more importantly reading blogs! I have discovered a wonderful new world out there and even made a few friends in the blogsphere!

--> Watched with pride as my daughter stepped into the world of dance...knowing that no one can debate where those genes came from!

--> Resumed learning dance and dancing regularly after a break of almost 10 years. This is something I sure look forward to keep doing for a long time to come! It has done wonders to my mind and body. I can just see my stamina improve after each class and what it does to my mind is just beyond words!

--> Discovered that an old classmate and friend works and stays close by. Already had a few girls only chat sessions with her...hope to do a lot more of that next year!!! :D

--> A better apartment and a new car here...and lot of good times with the family...times that make me thank God for His blessings...

--> Continue missing all the great friends who were around while in India....but having a good time in the company of whatever little extended family is available in this foreign land.

--> Learning things about myself and how I react to situations faced in life and not so sure I like some of those...maybe I should focus on some self improvement in the new year!!!!

--> Facing the eternal dilemma in work life - a job with more learning or one with more money? A job that gives more freedom or a hi-fi designation? A job that gives me less than what it takes from me or an MBA to further my career?

And now comes the new year that brings with it another great dilemma - job, travel, learning and dance or a new baby!!! :)) Well... I sure am interested in seeing what 2009 has to offer me!!!

HopPIN' Mad!!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A few days back, my husband took my ATM card and went to get some money. He forgot the pin and managed to successfully lock my card. Didn't think of giving me a call after the second mistake and getting the right PIN.And don't think I change my PIN every other week. I have had the same PIN number for the last 10 years...across banks and countries!!!!

So now I was stuck with an ATM card that didn't work and as luck would have it the internet banking also stopped working at the same time.

Now whenever it comes to calling up anything - movie booking, ordering food and groceries, directory enquiries...just about anything..it automatically becomes my job. So naturally, calling up the bank to fix the problem became my job too.

And when I don't like to do something or it is not absolutely urgent, I normally postpone it...so I kept putting off calling the bank and my husband kept reminding me to call every day.

Finally after almost 7-8 weeks, I finally called up the bank call center.

CCGuy: "Welcome to ... bank. This is ... How can I help you?'
Me: Hi... well, you know...I entered the wrong pin and now my ATM card is locked (how I hate to admit to some mistake which I did not make!!!) Can you reset it for me?
CCGuy: Yes, Ma'am. Can I ask you some questions for security reasons.
Me: (sigh! Here they come!) Yes!
CCGuy: What is your date of birth?
Me: (That is easy) DD-MM-YYYY. (I don't LOOK that old..really!)
CCGuy: Where was your passport issued?
Me: (That is easy,too) Trichy
CCGuy: Which branch did you open your account in?
Me: (Not bad) Bur Dubai branch
CCGuy: What is your account balance?
Me: (Oh-oh!!) hmm.. I really do not know..since I did not have the card, I haven't checked for a long time.
CCGuy: Okay, can you tell me your last withdrawal amount and date????
Me: (WHAT?) See..it was some time back..I really do not remember.. the last deposit could be my salary transfer of xxxx amount, I think (the company could have reimbursed my claims too along with the salary)
CGuy: (Very disbelieving) hmm...okay...fine, we will reset the PIN to the initial number.
Me: (WOW! That was not so bad) You mean the last PIN that I had before it got locked?
CCGuy: No Ma'am.. the PIN which the bank sent you when you first got your card.
Me: (What!!! 3 years back???) Oh no, I may not remember that! Will you mail me the PIN or something, please
CCGuy: (What an idiot!!!) No Ma'am we cannot do that.
Me: (boo hoo!) Oh..then what CAN I do???
CCGuy: You can apply for a new card right now. It will be sent to you by courier in a week's time.
Me: (sigh!) Okay, please do that.

After a week, I receive the new card by courier. The card comes with a letter that says the PIN will not be sent but I can call up the call center and set a new PIN.

Sigh!So I call again.

None of the 10 options the recorder lady said sounded right. So I dial 0 for an agent.

CCGuy: "Welcome to ... bank. This is ... How can I help you?'
Me: Hi... well, you know..I just received a new debit card and I want to set my PIN.
CCGuy: Sure Ma'am what's your card number?
Me: xxxxxxxx
CCGuy: Now I'd like to ask you some security questions
Me: (sigh!) yeah, okay
CCGuy: What is your date of birth?
Me: DD-MM-YYYY. (I don't LOOK that old..really!)
CCGuy: Where was your passport issued?
Me: Trichy
CCGuy: Which branch did you open your account in?
Me: Bur Dubai branch
CCGuy: What is your account balance?
Me: I didn't have the card for a long time..so I don't know. :(
CCGuy: Okay, can you tell me your last withdrawal amount and date????
Me: I am sorry...last deposit could be my salary.
CCGuy: You have had some other transfers from your company in India. Can you tell me those.
Me: (Huh???) I am sorry. I have no idea.
CCGuy: What is the email id you have given in the bank for your records
Me: Can you tell me if it yahoo or gmail?
CCGuy: (oh dear, how do I help this woman!) Can you tell me any transaction you did any time in the last 3 months?
Me: (dear me!!!) Okay..give me a second..let me see if I have any old statements with me....(Does this guy have any idea how difficult it is to find ANYTHING in my bag!!!! yahoo....here is one statement of October!!!) Hey..I could find one..here are 3 transactions!
CCGuy: (phew!!!) That's great Ma'am. I have activated your card now! You can now log on to your telebanking and change your ATM PIN. I will tell you the steps for changing the PIN. I hope you remember your telebanking PIN!!!
Me: (Telebanking!!! Did I have a telebanking facility??? I had NO IDEA!) I'm sorry...I really don't think I'd remember...though I could give it a try...(If I have set the PIN, I know what it would be..heh..heh)
CCGuy: No problem Ma'am..do try it and if it fails, you will be transferred back to us and we will reset your telebanking PIN for you!!! Have a good day Ma'am!!!

Hummmphh!!! He expected me to have a good day after that last statement! Well...he was a cute-sounding guy, I admit. Well to cut a long story short, I did not know the telebanking PIN and I got CCGuy no 3 and answered all his questions (this one also asked me my mother's name) and very sceptically he reset my telebanking PIN!!!

They announce that they might record the conversation for training purposes. I bet they use mine to train the guy how to help women who remember NOTHING!

Now they say for fixing my internet banking problem, I have to call another number!!!! If anyone tells me banking has become easier these days, I shall scream!!!

Excuses...

Monday, December 15, 2008

I guess one of my New year resolutions should be to be more regular in blogging. I've been doing only blog reading and no blogging for several weeks now. The excuse is defintiely lot of work and not enough time. But then, that I guess is just that, an excuse.

It is true that I have been doing more work than before. Like most companies, my company also has decided to use the recession as an excuse to remove people, cut salaries, stop increments and promotions, hold recruitment...the works! The result is that there has been no replacement for the 2 people who left last year and there is no one even for the admin job. So the people who are left out are overloaded and playing all kinds of roles. A friend of mine in the US could not believe himself...he was working more after the salary cut!!!

Well...anyway...I guess one has to be thankful for the job one has these days..so I am not cribbing....

And then there were the eid holidays! 5 days at a stretch... what bliss! We took off to Muscat and had a great family gettogether.Time spent going places, talking, laughing, driving and playing Uno!

There was also another small reason that I did not know what to write about. With things like the Mumbai terror attacks happening, writing about anything else seemed so trivial. And writing about it seemed so difficult because anything one says would sound cliched and inadequate.

I have also been thinking.

When people talk about life, they say life is short and that we should live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment. But does that mean that we just do what gives us pleasure at the moment without thinking about the future, without looking at the larger picture? We now know that what seemed life changing and huge while we were younger, say in school or college, was really not as big as it seemed then. Is it not the same now as well?

I don't know...if any of you could make out anything from my rambling, let me know what you think!

On parties and things like that...

Sunday, November 2, 2008

This is one post that has been long overdue.

I promised to update you all on how my trip went.

Well..the trip went quite well. Thank you all for the words of encouragement after that last cribby post!

I was able to complete the task on time as per the plan. Thankfully, there were no glitches. This was only the first phase of the project...the rest would come some time in February or March once the customer is ready for the actual implementation. So, for now, it is waiting time.
There were no problems on the home front either...father daughter team managed quite well... even though the husband took instant revenge by taking off to China for 3 weeks(!!!) as soon as I got back!

This weekend,I arranged a birthday party for my daughter at home. She invited her friends from the school and the day care. We ordered a huge vanilla cake (she chose one that was shaped like a book!). I planned a few party games and ordered Happy Meals for the kids from Mc Donalds. I wouldn't have dared to do a party on my own while the hubby was travelling...but since the brother-in-law and the cousin brother were around to help out with the decorations, picking up the cake and the food and for general helping around, it was no trouble at all...

The party was sheer fun! I was a little doubtful about the games I had chosen...but I need not have been!!! Kids these days are so amazingly smart that they never fail to amaze us elders!

I realised that I had totally underestimated them while planning the games. We had a game where the teams had to pick a piece of paper in which an occupation was written...you know...like doctor, nurse, postman, policeman. The kids were divided into two teams and one person from the team had to do a dumb charade of the occupation he/she picks up. The others in the team had to guess! Being old fashioned, I had picked simple stuff like doctor, dancer, postman, teacher ...and the kids were making guesses like immigration department...banker...chef!!!! Oh dear....we adults were put to shame!!!

And how the kids talk!!! There was one little guy who wanted to win every game...by hook or by crook! He tried to bribe me...refused to have 'babies' in his team (Couple of kids had brought their younger siblings along)...blamed his team when they couldn't guess what he was doing in the charades game...made up brilliant stuff in the 'I spy' game...just kept shocking and amusing us elders in turns!!! We couldn't help but wonder how he would turn out in a few years' time out in the real world!

And there was this little 7 year old girl who, as she was leaving after the party, touched the chain I was wearing and said 'Nice pendant, aunty'...sounding so much like a young lady!!! It took me a few seconds to find my senses and thank her for her appreciation!

The end result of the party is a lot of yummy cake,chocolate milk and ice cream in my refrigerator... to test my willpower!!!!

Career Cribs!!!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I have been doubting my abilities.

Ever since I started working some 10 years ago, my work has been appreciated. I have been told that I am sincere, committed and pay attention to detail. My superiors have always loved having me in their team. I have been given tasks with the confidence that I will complete it on time and with quality. The current job has been no exception. The latest compliment I received from my big boss, the VP, was that the company needs clones of me!!!

But recently, I started doubting if my way was the best way after all.

Like I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I have a challenging assignment coming up. It is challenging because it is outside the scope of my current profile and hence I have not been trained for it and I have not done it before. I know I can do it with some extra preparation from my side. But the problem is that for me to do my work well, there are some dependent tasks that someone else has to do. Also, even if not a formal training, I need someone to answer my questions and clear my doubts while I do my preparation. This has not been planned. No one has been planned for any of this. The reasons for this is manifold and not worth going into here... let us just say ignorance and a lot of politics!

So what has been happening is that I have to use my personal relationships with people and my inherent charm to get any help! I tell you, it is exasperating! It is just not fair that I have to be begging and waiting for the things that I feel is my right to have! But unfortunately, the other people are also justified in doing what they are doing...and me being born into this zodiac sign that stands for justice, cannot help but see that.

My experience has been that however tough is the task at hand, if you prepare well for it and remember God, you come out successful. This has been my experience right from school to this day. It is another matter that I prepare only just in time for the task. But I prepare all right! I don't know if I am right...I could just be very lucky.

But in this case, I had started feeling quite helpless! And if I am not prepared for the task, I get tense and worried. I am not one of those cool guys who just walk in ready to face anything that happens. I started thinking that I probably should be like that! My husband also said that sometimes you just have to be cool and stop wanting to be perfect in everything that you do. I felt that maybe he was right...maybe I should just stop worrying and trying to get help and do what I can with what I have.

But I was not able to stop worrying and so what I have been doing is to make the best use of what I have. Do whatever I can do on my own or get help from what little sources I have available.

But now things have slowly started falling into place. I have been able to get my hand on the product set up that I am going to use and do some testing on it. It will not be complete till the moment I start my work but still I have started feeling better. And yesterday the very people who were unable to help me were surprised that I had been doing my preparation with whatever limited resources I have and even paid me a compliment saying they wished they had more people like me in the team. It did not make me feel good but at least I was glad to know that my way is not totally wrong!

Personally also, I think this experience has helped me. I have found out who my real friends are. I know now who would help me for my sake and who would only do things if they have an advantage in doing it. Even when it comes to work, it is nice to have friends on whom you know you can depend.

It certainly doesn't help matters that to complete this task, I have to travel to another country and stay there for 10 days leaving my family to fend for themselves. I haven't stayed away this long before leaving the father and daughter alone. For all I know, though he doesn't lift a little finger when I'm around, he is going to do a better job than me when I'm gone. Men are like that! :) I hope they don't learn to manage without me... I like to feel needed and important!

So, finally, what all this rambling amounts to is that I'm off on this official trip starting next week...and will be away for a few days! Will let you all know how it went once I get back!