Alive and Dancing....

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

It has been six months now since I resumed my learning of bharatanatyam.

I had joined on the spur of the moment. After enrolling my seven year old daughter for the classes, I was in class watching one day, when I told the teacher that having learnt bharatanatyam for several years, it is a little difficult for me to just sit and watch. And she very kindly asked me to go ahead and dance.

I have been enjoying the experience. But it is also a funny situation.

The teacher is almost my age. In fact, she could be a year or two younger…I didn’t try to find out! So I avoid doing the usual falling at feet stuff…

The oldest kid in the most senior batch would be 17. That is exactly half my age! Unlike in India, there are no students older than that since all the kids leave Dubai after the 12th grade, for higher studies, in India or abroad.

Since I can go for classes only on weekends, I sometimes have classes with the seniors and sometimes with the juniors who would be 10-12 year olds.

Since the little ones are also there and they are learning the basic steps (or adavus), we seniors also join them sometimes…some kind of warming up, refresher and stamina building. This means I get to dance with my daughter! Isn’t that just wonderful!

Well…I thoroughly enjoy learning with the kids..not sure if they enjoy having an ‘aunty’ in their midst!

I have fun observing them…especially in the practice room inside where we go and wait or practice when someone else is dancing.

The tiny ones sincerely practice till the class is over and then they promptly start playing with the teacher’s six year old son and all his toys.

The juniors generally make a lot of noise...talk a lot. They are also very competitive. Each one wants to do better than the other. They are also prompt in pointing out the mistakes of the others. And they perform best when the teacher gives them a ‘test’ with marks.

One of these girls asked me if my daughter was my sister. I was quite thrilled but I think it was less because I look young and more because she couldn’t believe that mothers would dance! When I said she was not my sister but my daughter, she looked shocked and asked me..’Does that mean I can call you aunty?’. I told her that I believed that was the right thing! :-|

The seniors hardly ever practice …how can they when there are so many interesting things to talk about. You know like boys, school, boys, movies, boys, songs, boys… I have a feeling they might be the ones most troubled by my presence, poor things, because they would have to censor quite a lot of their talk with me around… they really don’t need to..but they don’t know that!! Every little chance they get, they start one of these ‘interesting’ topics..sometimes even during the class. The teacher and I usually share a smile and roll our eyes!

But I am really enjoying the whole experience. Nothing else could get me out of bed and in the class at 8 am every weekend!

Testing Times.....

Monday, February 9, 2009

I think I am going back in time.

Back to school, studies and exams. Only this time my daughter's.

Though my daughter has been going to school for 4-5 years now, I have not really spent too much time with her on studies and stuff. But now looks like all that is going to change...and she is only in Grade 2.

I don't want to be one of those mothers who treat a Grade 2 exam as an IAS exam and lose sleep on those 1 or 2 marks the poor kid loses in the exam.

I was happy that my daughter was studying in a school where there are no exams till Grade 5 and the assessment is supposed to be done continuously based on the child's performance and attention in class. I figured that by the time she has to start writing exams, she will be old enough to study on her own too....

Looks like I was mistaken....

The continuous assessment that these guys talk about are slightly different. It means that there are worksheets instead of question papers. Instead of the exam dates, you get subtle warning messages in the form of diary notes that say 'revise chapter so and so in English'. When you get a message that runs like this, it actually means that 'Hey...make your kid learn that stuff well in another 3-4 days...one of these days, she has to do the worksheet'. This message is repeated every day. When it stops,you know that the worksheet has been done.

As far as my understanding goes, the continuous assessment system works in such a way that the entire learning happens in school. There is no extra coaching required at home. The children are given surprise tests in class and they perform based on how well they have been taught in class and how much attention they have been paying in class.

This is not going to work in a class of almost 40 children.

This is also not going to work if 80% of the mothers sit at home and teach their kids and even send them for tuitions and extra classes.

Once this happens, then the remaining 20% is also forced to do the same...so that the grades their child gets is the one they really deserve in comparison with the rest of the class.

If this is the case, then I'd prefer the exam system itself. At least you get the exam time table in advance and the child just needs to prepare for the exam.

Now the system is all mixed up..so they say revise and give a huge list of stuff...without any dates...which means you have to make the kid ready with the whole stuff all together and then wait for the surprise tests!!!!

It's not easy, especially for a working mother...or a travelling one, to spend so much time every day.Either they should be able to totally avoid teaching the kid at home or they should be at least able to plan their time...is that too much to expect...especially when you spend so much money on education these days.

In fact, the revise warning notes are actually meant to help the working mothers to plan their time and I will not deny that they do help. But what I say is that the whole purpose of the assessment system is lost when things happen this way.

That said, there are schools where they get it right as well. My mother is a teacher and she tells me that in her school, they do the assessment system the right way. They insist that parents do not teach the children at home and they do not even send the books home with the children. The entire learning is done in the class and the assessments are purely based on their performance in class and the surprise worksheets that test application of knowledge than the lesson itself.

The Event...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

This is a short post to place on record how the event went.

I couldn't go and I know I missed something great. My mother went as a special guest. She went with her best friend and a few close relatives and friends - she needed lot of moral support, I am sure. She was asked to light the inaugural lamp. The chief guest and the speaker spoke kind words about my father as they both knew him well. It was very well attended and there were several people who told my mother that they made it a point to attend the speech mainly because it was in the memory of my father. There were many people who came and told my mother that my father's lectures and talks used to be mesmerizing and that they were huge fans of his. The event was covered by local media.

Needless to say, my mother was overwhelmed by the whole experience. She said she had a tough time keeping her emotions in control.

We have not done the usual practice of enlarging his photograph and keeping it in the living room with a garland around it. Both my mother and I could not somehow bear the thought of doing that. Even for my wedding, there was a talk of having my father's photograph enlarged and displayed so that I could take his blessings. Luckily, my mother, who knew my thoughts on the matter, refused. I am glad, because weddings are emotional enough without having you reminded of the biggest loss in your life.

My mother said that her conviction that we did the right thing by not having the photograph enlarged just became stronger after the event. The organizers had displayed life size photographs of my father on either side of the stage. My mother said she felt like he would just walk down the steps. After several years, she came home that night expecting him to be there and wanting to talk to him about the event. Needless to say, she could not go to sleep without medication that night.

I wonder...does time really heal?

My Inspiration for the New Year...

Sunday, January 4, 2009

There are some days which start in a very ordinary way and then become very special because of something that happens which touches you, moves you, inspires you and motivates you.

Today was one of those days.

It started like any other day. I went to my office as usual and checked my office mail. Then I opened my gmail account to check my mails. I found a mail from an id I did not recognize and a subject which made me curious.

I opened it and I found a note from the Chairman of IIChE (Indian Institute of Chemical Engineers). It was an invite for the inaugural lecture of a series of annual lectures the IIChE is going to conduct starting this year. The first lecture is on ‘Chandrayaan I and team building’ and will be given by the Director, SHAR, ISRO on the 14th of Jan in Cochin.

This email has come to me because the lecture series is established in the memory of my father, almost 15 years after his demise.

View the Invite!

I am a very proud daughter today.

It is an honour to know that my father is remembered even after so many years. It feels wonderful to know that in the short time that he had, with the limited audience that he had, he still made a difference.

Today was the first working day of the New Year and I could not ask for anything more inspirational or motivating than this. It made me want to stop living life one day to another. It made me want to learn more, share knowledge and contribute in what little way I can to the world. Our parents worked hard to make the world a better place for us to live. Shouldn’t we do the same for our children?

As a daughter, I felt overwhelmed and emotional.

My father was always the most special person in my life and now I missed him again. He passed away when I was only 19. Being an only child, he was my friend with whom I used to watch TV and movies, listen to music and play games. He was the friend to whom I used to tell all the pranks the boys played in class (which he used to promptly repeat to them when they came home!!!).

But I have always felt deprived because I did not know him after I became an adult, a family woman, a professional. When I see how people remember him professionally, I want to know him better and learn from him. I want to discuss his work and my work with him. I want to know his philosophy on life, family, relationships, religion.

But then again, I think. Maybe it is wonderful this way too. I shall not have to remember him as an ordinary person. I shall not have to remember him as an old man who forgets things. I shall always be able to remember him as a brilliant person who could talk about anything under the sun, who scored a 100 in every mathematics paper from class I to Engg final year, who could answer all my questions, my idol on the pedestal.

But….I miss him so much!

Year-2008-for-me

Friday, December 26, 2008

Colours has tagged me to write about 'the year 2008 for me'...and twin souls that we are and have been, I was already thinking of doing that anyway.

Come to think of it, there were some really significant and life-enhancing things that happened this year, I think... And there have been more good than bad...

--> 2008 began on quite a wonderful note. There is this old school mate whom I met online after 15 years and who quickly became a very good friend. I got to meet him with family after almost 1.5 years of only online interaction on the New Year's day!

--> Also it was a new year spent in the home town after several years and that made it great too...there IS a special atmosphere in Kerala for Christmas and New Year which I love!

--> Finalized and booked an apartment in the hometown...I am really looking forward to the completion of the project this year!

--> Started contributing significantly to the company's business in the region being the sole presales person and also learnt to work alone without a team or even a colleague...

--> Started travelling a lot within and outside the country on work...and travelling and regularly meeting new people does build one's confidence!

--> Started blogging!!!! And more importantly reading blogs! I have discovered a wonderful new world out there and even made a few friends in the blogsphere!

--> Watched with pride as my daughter stepped into the world of dance...knowing that no one can debate where those genes came from!

--> Resumed learning dance and dancing regularly after a break of almost 10 years. This is something I sure look forward to keep doing for a long time to come! It has done wonders to my mind and body. I can just see my stamina improve after each class and what it does to my mind is just beyond words!

--> Discovered that an old classmate and friend works and stays close by. Already had a few girls only chat sessions with her...hope to do a lot more of that next year!!! :D

--> A better apartment and a new car here...and lot of good times with the family...times that make me thank God for His blessings...

--> Continue missing all the great friends who were around while in India....but having a good time in the company of whatever little extended family is available in this foreign land.

--> Learning things about myself and how I react to situations faced in life and not so sure I like some of those...maybe I should focus on some self improvement in the new year!!!!

--> Facing the eternal dilemma in work life - a job with more learning or one with more money? A job that gives more freedom or a hi-fi designation? A job that gives me less than what it takes from me or an MBA to further my career?

And now comes the new year that brings with it another great dilemma - job, travel, learning and dance or a new baby!!! :)) Well... I sure am interested in seeing what 2009 has to offer me!!!

HopPIN' Mad!!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A few days back, my husband took my ATM card and went to get some money. He forgot the pin and managed to successfully lock my card. Didn't think of giving me a call after the second mistake and getting the right PIN.And don't think I change my PIN every other week. I have had the same PIN number for the last 10 years...across banks and countries!!!!

So now I was stuck with an ATM card that didn't work and as luck would have it the internet banking also stopped working at the same time.

Now whenever it comes to calling up anything - movie booking, ordering food and groceries, directory enquiries...just about anything..it automatically becomes my job. So naturally, calling up the bank to fix the problem became my job too.

And when I don't like to do something or it is not absolutely urgent, I normally postpone it...so I kept putting off calling the bank and my husband kept reminding me to call every day.

Finally after almost 7-8 weeks, I finally called up the bank call center.

CCGuy: "Welcome to ... bank. This is ... How can I help you?'
Me: Hi... well, you know...I entered the wrong pin and now my ATM card is locked (how I hate to admit to some mistake which I did not make!!!) Can you reset it for me?
CCGuy: Yes, Ma'am. Can I ask you some questions for security reasons.
Me: (sigh! Here they come!) Yes!
CCGuy: What is your date of birth?
Me: (That is easy) DD-MM-YYYY. (I don't LOOK that old..really!)
CCGuy: Where was your passport issued?
Me: (That is easy,too) Trichy
CCGuy: Which branch did you open your account in?
Me: (Not bad) Bur Dubai branch
CCGuy: What is your account balance?
Me: (Oh-oh!!) hmm.. I really do not know..since I did not have the card, I haven't checked for a long time.
CCGuy: Okay, can you tell me your last withdrawal amount and date????
Me: (WHAT?) See..it was some time back..I really do not remember.. the last deposit could be my salary transfer of xxxx amount, I think (the company could have reimbursed my claims too along with the salary)
CGuy: (Very disbelieving) hmm...okay...fine, we will reset the PIN to the initial number.
Me: (WOW! That was not so bad) You mean the last PIN that I had before it got locked?
CCGuy: No Ma'am.. the PIN which the bank sent you when you first got your card.
Me: (What!!! 3 years back???) Oh no, I may not remember that! Will you mail me the PIN or something, please
CCGuy: (What an idiot!!!) No Ma'am we cannot do that.
Me: (boo hoo!) Oh..then what CAN I do???
CCGuy: You can apply for a new card right now. It will be sent to you by courier in a week's time.
Me: (sigh!) Okay, please do that.

After a week, I receive the new card by courier. The card comes with a letter that says the PIN will not be sent but I can call up the call center and set a new PIN.

Sigh!So I call again.

None of the 10 options the recorder lady said sounded right. So I dial 0 for an agent.

CCGuy: "Welcome to ... bank. This is ... How can I help you?'
Me: Hi... well, you know..I just received a new debit card and I want to set my PIN.
CCGuy: Sure Ma'am what's your card number?
Me: xxxxxxxx
CCGuy: Now I'd like to ask you some security questions
Me: (sigh!) yeah, okay
CCGuy: What is your date of birth?
Me: DD-MM-YYYY. (I don't LOOK that old..really!)
CCGuy: Where was your passport issued?
Me: Trichy
CCGuy: Which branch did you open your account in?
Me: Bur Dubai branch
CCGuy: What is your account balance?
Me: I didn't have the card for a long time..so I don't know. :(
CCGuy: Okay, can you tell me your last withdrawal amount and date????
Me: I am sorry...last deposit could be my salary.
CCGuy: You have had some other transfers from your company in India. Can you tell me those.
Me: (Huh???) I am sorry. I have no idea.
CCGuy: What is the email id you have given in the bank for your records
Me: Can you tell me if it yahoo or gmail?
CCGuy: (oh dear, how do I help this woman!) Can you tell me any transaction you did any time in the last 3 months?
Me: (dear me!!!) Okay..give me a second..let me see if I have any old statements with me....(Does this guy have any idea how difficult it is to find ANYTHING in my bag!!!! yahoo....here is one statement of October!!!) Hey..I could find one..here are 3 transactions!
CCGuy: (phew!!!) That's great Ma'am. I have activated your card now! You can now log on to your telebanking and change your ATM PIN. I will tell you the steps for changing the PIN. I hope you remember your telebanking PIN!!!
Me: (Telebanking!!! Did I have a telebanking facility??? I had NO IDEA!) I'm sorry...I really don't think I'd remember...though I could give it a try...(If I have set the PIN, I know what it would be..heh..heh)
CCGuy: No problem Ma'am..do try it and if it fails, you will be transferred back to us and we will reset your telebanking PIN for you!!! Have a good day Ma'am!!!

Hummmphh!!! He expected me to have a good day after that last statement! Well...he was a cute-sounding guy, I admit. Well to cut a long story short, I did not know the telebanking PIN and I got CCGuy no 3 and answered all his questions (this one also asked me my mother's name) and very sceptically he reset my telebanking PIN!!!

They announce that they might record the conversation for training purposes. I bet they use mine to train the guy how to help women who remember NOTHING!

Now they say for fixing my internet banking problem, I have to call another number!!!! If anyone tells me banking has become easier these days, I shall scream!!!

Excuses...

Monday, December 15, 2008

I guess one of my New year resolutions should be to be more regular in blogging. I've been doing only blog reading and no blogging for several weeks now. The excuse is defintiely lot of work and not enough time. But then, that I guess is just that, an excuse.

It is true that I have been doing more work than before. Like most companies, my company also has decided to use the recession as an excuse to remove people, cut salaries, stop increments and promotions, hold recruitment...the works! The result is that there has been no replacement for the 2 people who left last year and there is no one even for the admin job. So the people who are left out are overloaded and playing all kinds of roles. A friend of mine in the US could not believe himself...he was working more after the salary cut!!!

Well...anyway...I guess one has to be thankful for the job one has these days..so I am not cribbing....

And then there were the eid holidays! 5 days at a stretch... what bliss! We took off to Muscat and had a great family gettogether.Time spent going places, talking, laughing, driving and playing Uno!

There was also another small reason that I did not know what to write about. With things like the Mumbai terror attacks happening, writing about anything else seemed so trivial. And writing about it seemed so difficult because anything one says would sound cliched and inadequate.

I have also been thinking.

When people talk about life, they say life is short and that we should live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment. But does that mean that we just do what gives us pleasure at the moment without thinking about the future, without looking at the larger picture? We now know that what seemed life changing and huge while we were younger, say in school or college, was really not as big as it seemed then. Is it not the same now as well?

I don't know...if any of you could make out anything from my rambling, let me know what you think!