A follow up post.....

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Couple of comments to my previous post make me feel that I should probably put up a follow up post for it.

I probably did not come across very well in the last post. I did not mean in anyway to glorify working mothers by writing that. I did not even mean to discuss working mothers vs non-working mothers. As Agnes and Bins rightly said, it is just the circumstances. If one has the support systems required to manage both easily, one is lucky. If not, no mother will think twice about putting her children before her career..I am sure. No one admires women who give up a great career to take care of the family more than I do. More so, because it is a very difficult choice to make...but I am sure I would not find it impossible to do should the circumstances arrise. I did do it also to some extent...but talking of that would be digressing.

I meant the post only to convey what I admire in my mother as a woman irrespective of the fact that she is my mother. Because there is no way you can compare two mothers! For every one of us, our own mother is the best!

I admire my mother not just for being a career woman but for being so good at what she does.

My mother was brought up in a small village in kerala. She was married at 20 before her degree results were out. She was married to an extremely bright engineer with a great future. She had her baby at 21. No one expected her to work,least of all my father. She herself I'm sure did not plan on being a career woman. The reasons that pushed her into going to work are different and not in the least because she had great career aspirations. I shall not go into those reasons here.

When she started working, I think my father was just an amused onlooker. He did not expect her to continue for long and expected she will tire of it soon and come back home.

But within 5 years of her starting to work, she was given the responsibility of the entire KG Section of the school which was run separate from the rest of the school. Soon she was heading the section which had two branches, 25 teachers and more than 600 students. This continued to grow and she also started a teacher's training course in the same institution and headed that as well. After this, she has helped start and set up 2-3 other schools which have all grown to be some of the most popular ones in the city.

I used to experience pride every year on the annual day when she used to read out the annual report on stage. Within a couple of years of her starting her job, my father became a staunch supporter of her continuing to work and he stood behind her whenever any of our relatives spoke against it. I have seen pride in his eyes too.

Even today, at 55, after more than 3 decades of working, she still does research on the internet and reads up about modern methods of teaching and tries to put them into practice at her school. I doubt if I have that kind of energy and motivation even now!

So you see, when I said 'I used to be proud of the fact that my mother had a successful career', the emphasis was more on the 'successful' than on the 'career'!

And probably it is this feeling that helped me overlook things like having to eat idlis every day because they were easy to cook, not having my mother at home with hot snacks when I got back from school, having her come running, late to dress me up for my dance programmes after all the other mothers arrived.

8 other wanderers:

Bins said...

I thought your post was fine. To me, it is like - each to his own. If I had all the support systems in place, I would have trotted off to work myself.
I guess if your kids can come up well and u can manage a decent home with a career, u cannot ask for more.

Agnes said...

I agree with Bins. It's a personal decision.... circumstantial... there are so many factors involved, really. A good mother is a good mother.

WannabeWriter said...

Bins, Agnes: Agree with you both. If you are lucky enough to be able to manage both, you do. If not I am sure it is a decision no mother would think twice about..because first priority is always the child. :)

Its just that I had no intention of discussing working mothers vs non working mothers in these posts...it was just a post on what I admire in the woman that my mother is...irrespective of the fact that she is my mother...

Otherwise for every child his/her mother is the best and every mother undoubtedly would do her best for her child...so there is no point discussing it at all...right?

WannabeWriter said...

Edited the post a little to put the above thoughts in...

Reflections said...

Your mother sounds amazing!!!! Her abilities & ur love & awe for her shines through every sentence u have written. I really hope she reads this post.

I went back to read my comment in the previous post:-D.
Heeee.....looks like I came across a bit 'questioning'[for want of a better word].
I didnt mean to make u uncomfortable in any way....I just wrote what I felt. Thts all. I'm feeling terrible now.

p.s: Now see what u've gone & done. Now u have to write one more post to make me feel better:-D

WannabeWriter said...

@Nance: Thanks dear! She did read the last one and was pretty thrilled...hee hee... she is coming here in April-May...so I told her even though I love her for more than her cooking..that does not mean she can escape cooking all her goodies while she is here... ;) why don't you come over??? seriously!

And hey..your comment did not make me uncomfortable...I know you better than that... in fact I was discussing with Colours much before your comment that my post just might make people read it in a different way... so the follow up is meant to just clarify to all readers what I really wanted to say...

Agnes said...

"Otherwise for every child his/her mother is the best and every mother undoubtedly would do her best for her child...so there is no point discussing it at all...right?"

Right. (Apart from the few bad apples of course)

Reflections said...

And u r tagged!!!!!!!!!!!!

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