Career Cribs!!!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I have been doubting my abilities.

Ever since I started working some 10 years ago, my work has been appreciated. I have been told that I am sincere, committed and pay attention to detail. My superiors have always loved having me in their team. I have been given tasks with the confidence that I will complete it on time and with quality. The current job has been no exception. The latest compliment I received from my big boss, the VP, was that the company needs clones of me!!!

But recently, I started doubting if my way was the best way after all.

Like I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I have a challenging assignment coming up. It is challenging because it is outside the scope of my current profile and hence I have not been trained for it and I have not done it before. I know I can do it with some extra preparation from my side. But the problem is that for me to do my work well, there are some dependent tasks that someone else has to do. Also, even if not a formal training, I need someone to answer my questions and clear my doubts while I do my preparation. This has not been planned. No one has been planned for any of this. The reasons for this is manifold and not worth going into here... let us just say ignorance and a lot of politics!

So what has been happening is that I have to use my personal relationships with people and my inherent charm to get any help! I tell you, it is exasperating! It is just not fair that I have to be begging and waiting for the things that I feel is my right to have! But unfortunately, the other people are also justified in doing what they are doing...and me being born into this zodiac sign that stands for justice, cannot help but see that.

My experience has been that however tough is the task at hand, if you prepare well for it and remember God, you come out successful. This has been my experience right from school to this day. It is another matter that I prepare only just in time for the task. But I prepare all right! I don't know if I am right...I could just be very lucky.

But in this case, I had started feeling quite helpless! And if I am not prepared for the task, I get tense and worried. I am not one of those cool guys who just walk in ready to face anything that happens. I started thinking that I probably should be like that! My husband also said that sometimes you just have to be cool and stop wanting to be perfect in everything that you do. I felt that maybe he was right...maybe I should just stop worrying and trying to get help and do what I can with what I have.

But I was not able to stop worrying and so what I have been doing is to make the best use of what I have. Do whatever I can do on my own or get help from what little sources I have available.

But now things have slowly started falling into place. I have been able to get my hand on the product set up that I am going to use and do some testing on it. It will not be complete till the moment I start my work but still I have started feeling better. And yesterday the very people who were unable to help me were surprised that I had been doing my preparation with whatever limited resources I have and even paid me a compliment saying they wished they had more people like me in the team. It did not make me feel good but at least I was glad to know that my way is not totally wrong!

Personally also, I think this experience has helped me. I have found out who my real friends are. I know now who would help me for my sake and who would only do things if they have an advantage in doing it. Even when it comes to work, it is nice to have friends on whom you know you can depend.

It certainly doesn't help matters that to complete this task, I have to travel to another country and stay there for 10 days leaving my family to fend for themselves. I haven't stayed away this long before leaving the father and daughter alone. For all I know, though he doesn't lift a little finger when I'm around, he is going to do a better job than me when I'm gone. Men are like that! :) I hope they don't learn to manage without me... I like to feel needed and important!

So, finally, what all this rambling amounts to is that I'm off on this official trip starting next week...and will be away for a few days! Will let you all know how it went once I get back!

Tagging Away!!!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

It's her again! Tagged by the Reflector!

And how I wish I could think of some funny answers!!!! I couldn't. So here goes my serious answers to the tag...and its all more of less hypothetical when you are someone who has been married for almost 10 years and are the mother of a seven year old. Maybe I should answer the tag again as I would have answered it some 10-12 years back.. ;)

If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

Ahh... a hypothetical question! Someone betray ME?? Hah! Anyway...I guess it would be 'He that betrayeth is no lover'... :)

If you can have a dream come true, what would it be.

I guess world travel...in the company of anyone to whom I can talk 24 hours without getting bored....

Whose butt would you like to kick?

One of the caretakers sin my daughter's daycare... someone so unpleasant and impatient has no right to be doing such a beautiful job!!!

What would do with a billion dollars?

I'd save some, spend some and give away some!

Will you fall in love with your best friend?

I might... but I used to hate it when friends fell in love with me... :(

Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

Being loved... loving someone is half blessing and half curse....

How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?

Till we fall out of love with each other... which is bound to happen...

If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?

Assuming it's an attachment that he cannot break, I would ensure that I do nothing that makes me lose his company forever...

If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Food and healthcare for every child in the world.

What takes you down the fastest?

An Escalator??? (yahoo... finally a funny answer!)

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

Helping my daughter prepare for her 12th standard board exams.. ;)

What’s your fear?

That my daughter will fall ill.... I'm silly but unable to get over that fear...

What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Friendly and fun!

Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

It would be an impossible task for anyone to stay single AND rich for long....

If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?

Do people do that??? If there is one place where I cannot do multi-tasking, it is falling in love... one after the other, maybe...but not together...

Would you give all in a relationship?

All my love, yes.... but I'd like to keep my independence and my friends please...

Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?

I don't know...haven't had anyone do anything horrible to me... or did I just forget???

Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

In a relationship... I'm a die-hard romantic!

Now I need to tag someone. And Nancy has tagged everyone who reads my blog! But then my twin is there...Colours...do you dare do this??? ;)

And read2blew, I think you would have some interesting (read Mean!!!) answers to these questions...Wanna try???

Just some random thoughts....

Sunday, September 21, 2008

I am so bored!

I have nothing interesting or challenging to do. In fact, there is a very challenging assignment looming ahead, but the dates are uncertain. The planned date for that work has been getting extended for the last 3 weeks and I still do not know when it will come. In the meanwhile, I have nothing to do but prepare myself for the task coming up....And it's so difficult to find the motivation for the preparation without a date or a deadline!

So far, I had been finding this job interesting. It had a little bit of everything in it. A little bit of business development, a little bit of presales, a little bit of administration, a little bit of consultancy, a little bit of project management. I usually stay motivated as long as I find myself learning something new. But suddenly, I find that missing. I'm not sure if it is just a temporary slowdown. I hope it is.

It also does not help in anyway that of my two best online companions, one is totally offline and the other is terribly busy!

So, I decided to improve my mind and do some serious reading. Business articles and stuff.

I really liked two of the articles I read in The McKinsey Quarterly.

One was on how talented women thrive in leadership or career. The first point the article spoke about was that we should try and make our work more meaningful. It said that we should be honest with ourselves on what we are good at and then build those things into our everyday activities. Sounded good, I thought.

So what am I good at? Honestly!!! Based on my experience so far, I think I'm good at dealing with people. I usually am trusted and liked by superiors, subordinates, peers and customers. I am good at communicating using different modes - emails, documents, conference calls, presentations. I prepare well and work hard. I am good at learning new stuff.

I need to improve a lot in terms of planning, handling commercial stuff, negotiation and a whole lot of stuff like that.

Considering these, I think many of my strengths do play a significant role in my current profile - like presentation, customer/prospect handling and communication. What I miss is just having lot of people around me.

The other article spoke about business technology trends to watch out for.

In the recent time, I think my attitude towards entrepreunership has undergone a change.

Having been brought up in a family with only 'working' people and no 'business' people, I have had this dread for anything risky that doesn't bring a regular monthly income. But now, I think I'm more open to the idea.

For one, I sincerely feel that one should make a career out of what one loves to do. And for another, I think that if the end is good, it would justify the means. What I mean is that if you are successful at what you are doing, no one would care how you reached there. And if you have great ideas backed by a solid plan of execution, why should it not work?

This other article spoke of how modern technology and communication would help new businesses to thrive. It spoke of co-creation of a product by people or teams that are geographically separated. It spoke of how a business can make use of freelancers anywhere in the world to get the work done.

There is so much more opportunity these days for people with innovative ideas and plans. Wouldn't it be so thrilling to have one of your pet ideas succeed!!!

So how would it be if I went into freelance software development???

A weekend saga...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I have become a grandmother!


Well, it is not the Palin story that I had a daughter when I was 17 who has in turn become a mother at 17! It's just that my 7 year old has adopted a little teddy bear as her baby and this means that my husband and I become grandparents to it. It's not easy. I now have to wake the baby as well as its mother, tell stories to both of them and take care of the baby when its mother goes to office...err...school. The baby, christened Brums, by the way, is permanently covered in my daughter's blue and white duppatta. She says it is Brums's favourite 'blankee'!!! It is nice to see the mother in my little girl..so loving and tender!

I remember my first doll. I named her Smitha...what an unimaginative name! All of my childhood I yearned for one of those dolls that would open and close its eyes. I was fascinated by them but never managed to own one! All my dolls were still and boring...and quite scary once I finished dressing them up. So one of the first dolls I got for my daughter was ablinking and singing one!


Today, I feel extremely positive and happy!


It must be because of a weekend well spent, I guess... despite the fact that the weekend began with an argument over the telephone, with my boss, who was being thick headed and refusing to understand what I was trying to say.

I should not brag but I have to say that I did some fabulous cooking for Onam. I made a spread that would have made Mahabali proud...saambar, aviyal, stew, erissery, pineapple pachadi and cabbage thoran. But the best part was that I made two payasams as per tradition...a black one and a white one. Parippu prathaman made of jaggery and coconut milk and the standard semiya paayasam. I am so proud of myself!!! Well done, Me, I say!!! :D


And today's positivism is purely because I'm back to doing something I love doing more than anything else...learning dance...Nothing can lift my spirits more than two hours of solid Bharatanatyam. It's true that the old stamina is missing and I need to put in some extra effort since the 'style' I'm learning now is different from what I learnt for 15 years...but what the heck! I'm loving it!!!

Hence, I'm feeling quite unlike my usual self and more like King Khan singing 'I'm the best...I'm the best..I'm the best' !!!

And the award goes to.............

Monday, September 8, 2008

I'm thrilled! I have received an award for my blog content and design. Thank you, Nancy!!!! Since I consider myself a baby in the blogosphere, this is indeed a great honour!

As per the rules, I'd like to pass on this award to some blogs I love to read. Some of them are so popular that me giving them the award is like Filmfare giving an award to Tom Hanks. And I'm sure they have received as many awards for their blogs as Yesudas has received Best singer awards. But then, I do so enjoy reading what they write, so here goes....

Tys for his amazing sense of humour and brilliant posts that make you laugh every single time!

Bikerdude for his brilliant writing and inimitable illustrations that make his readers avidly wait for his posts...

PS because I love all her posts, both bubblegums and candies!!!

Reflections, whose open and friendly personality and carefree attitude is reflected in all that she writes. (Didn't see a rule that said I cannot award the awarder!)

Colours, my best friend, whose photography blog, I think, is lovely.

And read2blew, a dear friend, who refuses to post in his blog because he does not meet his own expectations. Writing is only one of his many talents, and I do hope he starts posting again! :)

Now the rules are:

1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back.

2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.

3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Brillante Weblog'.

4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize(optional).

5. And pass it on!

The case of the missing weeks...

I am back in the desert city after a month of vacation - after experiencing Cochin rains and roads...Bangalore traffic and Chennai crowds.

Now I have a serious problem! I am unable to account for the first 2 weeks of our vacation. It's a mystery where those two weeks went! The third week, I remember, we spent 3 days in Bangalore and then 3 days in Chennai. The fourth week was spent literally running from one home to another finishing visits.

But the first two weeks? Where are they??? I shall never know!

And what is the outcome of our vacation? Family members feel they did not get any time with us. We wonder what happened to all those planned visits to the dentist and the doctor. And what about those temples we wanted to visit? How come we did not go to ANY temple this time?

I know..I know...I should not crib..at least I get to go on a vacation every year...but guys..but I just cannot help wondering...where DID I lose half my vacation???

But in spite of those missing two weeks, I think we did have a good vacation on the whole. We met lot of friends...some of them (4 in fact!!!) after 16 years! We had some real good outings with cousins...met a lot of relatives...and even managed to watch a movie.

So now back to toil...

Tagging on....

Sunday, August 31, 2008

A long overdue tag - tagged by Nancy.

The Rules are as follows..
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs, letting them know that they have been tagged.

I'm not sure if these are quirks at all...still...here goes...

1. I think in English and not my mother tongue and I'm not one of those people who do not know their mother tongue well... I have always spoken Malayalam at home and I'm good at talking, reading and writing it...but still I think in English!

2. I am a MAJOR day dreamer... and I day dream all the time that I'm not talking or listening or reading! ;) Especially when I'm in a car or bus... I have even day dreamt while I was driving pillion on a scooter! :D

3. I dream a lot in my sleep too...sometimes I wake up feeling I have never slept and have been running around all the time. When I was younger I could remember my dreams too... now I forget them most of the time...

4. I just LOVE courtroom novels and movies...Started with Perry Masons pretty young and later latched on to every Grisham I could find. While flipping through channels, if I see a courtroom scene anywhere (even in an old Hindi or Mallu movie) I get stuck! It's almost the same with thrillers and murder mysteries too...the investigative kind...not the gory kind..

5. If I get an interesting book (or a magazine), I cannot postpone reading it. I have even read books while cooking...I can read and make dosas...sometimes even chappathis...the bottle of oil or some tin would hold the book open! You should try it...makes cooking more interesting! ;)

6. I love babyfood! While in hostel, Colours and I used to get Farex or Cerelac from the shop in the campus and eat it in our room...Also at that time, I was using Johnson's baby soap and baby powder on doctor's advice to reduce my pimples..... I'm sure the shopkeeper thought one of us had a baby hidden in our hostel room!!! :O

7. I suddenly break in to dance while at home...When I was younger I used to dance more than I used walk at home... My grandma used to ask me to close the windows lest people outside think I'm mad!

Well..that wasn't so difficult...and I thought I wasn't quirky....maybe I'll find more if I think...but will stop with 7 for now! :)

No idea whom to tag...Colours, you want to try? And anyone else who reads this and hasn't done it already!